Wednesday, October 31, 2012

A Question of Taste

GP James here with a little bone to pick with RtR. Just a little bone, like the one in Joe's pants.

I'll speak up so you can hear. 


For example...

Azorius Charm

This is a dude holding something. Doing some crazy math and reading the card's title has led me to believe he's holding a charm. So when he decides to force an attacking creature right back to the bottom of your mind (top of deck), why can't he do it again next turn? Did he drop it? 

I offer this as a solution...BEHOLD.

Yeah, it's not that great. But to make those abilities repeatable has to come at a huge cost. 

We could have avoided this problem (and this article) all together if they just did this...BEHOLD.

Cool right? 

Take a shot. 

GPjames out.

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Lovely Ladies of Ravnica

James is back with another video for us. This time, the delicious ladies of Return to Ravnica.
But don't's all the same jokes.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

"Games Are Best When Things Go Wrong"

I caught this article on Reddit, and it's absolutely 100% true. I really enjoy a good cooperative game, but there's a particular aspect of a great co-op game that puts it over the top: panic. If you don't have those moments where everything is going wrong, you won't have the same satisfaction when you overcome those obstacles. Let me give you a few examples:

Payday: The Heist

Payday was a game that got added to my wishlist right when it came out, but stayed there until it had a dramatic price drop. Then our gang picked up the game, and we've been playing it on and off ever since. Some of the missions are stealth-based, and some are straight up action jobs, but they've all got a number of ways to run into trouble. Snipers, shields, tazers, the whole spread of enemies get into your face. And the game is pretty damn difficult, sometimes to the point of massive frustration. Why keep playing then?

Must be the money.

Left 4 Dead (and Left 4 Dead 2)

What's funny is I didn't initially care for this game very much, and I think the reason is that I was playing single-player. It's still decent, and as you get the hang of it (aka learn to start knocking back the zombies), it's much better. But it really shines when you play co-operatively with friends. The apex of this experience is when you face the Tank. The music gets dramatic, the screen shakes, and chunks of rock come flying at you from across the map. Every time I fight a tank, I feel like I'm in Return of the King, tossing spears and firing arrows at an elephant (you can call it an oliphaunt if you want). "Take him down! Take him down!" I may or may not shout that when I'm playing.


"A 2D builder game had you panicking, Joe?" You'd better believe it. Not at first, though. At first, it was a pretty pleasant experience, obviously with its enemies and challenges, but generally a mellow kind of game.

Enter GP James.

As soon as he started playing, the game had a whole different feel. He pressed us to make an adventure of the experience. We all pushed the envelope, teaming up to delve deeper than we had. And oh, by the way, to release all water. But not in safe little stages, no sir. He'd hop on the server while I was merrily mining away, join up on Skype chat, and then without warning...

"Release the river!"

Several drownings later, I had to agree that the constant danger made the game more fun. It's the most pure proof I've found of the article's point, that if you take a game that's safe, and make it not safe, it's better.

Game on, everybody.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Most Unplayable Card in RtR

The Most UNplayable Card in Return to Ravnica

Good Point James here. After much perusal, my choice for the most unplayable card in RtR is...

Thanks for reading see you next time! 

What? You want more? OK, how about this: If this card shows up in a maindeck of a top 8 deck in any major sanctioned tournament (lets say more than 50 players) in ANY format, limited, standard, legacy, modern, or whatever else and you comment with a link to the deck list that can prove it happened, I'll give YOU a draft set of whatever set you want on MTGO. First response only, I'm not Fred Savage over here.

Happy Searching/Brewing!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

James' Top 5 Fun Blue Cards

Blue is the color most people that consider themselves "good" magic players choose as their favorite color. So basically it's the opposite of my favorite color. JKs bros. It's totally my fav. These are def in my top 10 cards played from the M13 era. For kicks each card will be accompanied by the worst card from the history of magic with the same mana cost and Power/Toughness. Boobs!

5. Fog Bank


This card is the start to any deck that annoys people. Which makes it awesome. The most I ever had in one deck was three. Needless to say, it was awesome. How many more awesomes can I type in this awesome paragraph?


(Worst Card With The Same Mana Cost and Same Power And Toughness)

Lolz Rare.

4. Mind Sculpt

So glad this card was in M13. It made the dream of the mill alive. Even though drafting a "normal" deck was probably better... we're all here to have fun right? Milling someone out for the win is like 2.34 times more fun than by damage. Needless to say I tried to accomplish this countless times, with it working a very countable number of times.


Stupid art to boot.

3. Unsummon

Pure miser card. Pure fun. Pure value. I heart this one deep.


Shame this card has AWESOME art. Because this instant has less than no use. I guess bring it in against those Bladetusk Boar decks so your Goblin Arsonist can chump? YEESH.

2. Redirect

This is a spell I like to savor. When their kill spell hits the stack, I wait. I look at Redirect, look at my 2 islands untapped and smile to myself. This will be awesome. BOOOOOOM. And this has the bonus of being a narrow enough card no one expects, so you'll sometimes get the "OMG you PLAY that card?" comments from the opponent. Those comments are my Ecstasy. Don't make those comments, people. You're just making guys like me smile.


Thank god they added that non-wall clause. TOOO MANY WALLSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! 

1. Archaeomancer

This was not close. Imagine for a second if the card read, "When Arch enters the battlefield, draw target awesome card," because that's basically what she does. I don't like many things, but the things I do like I like doing twice (sometimes in the same day if I'm home alone). What a beauty of a card. Here's praying for the reprint in M14!

Archaeomancer's WCWTSMCASPAT

Wow, a 4 mana 1/2 for green that gives my elves forestwalk? And I have to pay for that too? Sign me up!

Well what have we learned today? I'm an asshole-card-loving asshole. 

Later Brooooos. Take a shot.

GP James

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Firery Fun with M13's Red Cards

I chose to do the Green and Red articles because somehow, I usually end up drafting GR in m13. I mean a lot. So I have a little bit of knowledge about these two colors. ONce again these are my top five FUN cards to play with. Some of these are sweet cards, but others are just silly fun.

1. Thundermaw Hellkite

OK. We start, again, with a very powerful (mythic) rare card. But anyone lucky enough to have one of these in your deck, and actually cast it, can attest to the joy that ensues. A 5/5 Flyer for 5 already sounds awesome. Then add in Haste and the very relevant ability to tap/kill your opponents flyers, GG. Just play this card and watch as your opponent's well laid out board dissolves to mush. Then feed that mush to your opponent with a spoon...Here comes the train! Open up the station CHOO CHOO!

2. Mindclaw Shaman

This may be my fvorite red card of all. Most people consider it a sideboard card against decks with lots of sorceries/instants, but I can't help myself. Let me give you an example. Obvi we are playing GR and we are on the play. Turn one Arbor Elf means this guy gets played on turn 4...before our opponet can cast his Talrand's Invocation. Uhh. Yeah. Sick turn bro. Your opponent thinks he is about to play one of the best value cards in the set, when out of no where you steal it from him and cast it yourself. Your opponent will cry...or flip the table...or both. BTW, this is what James did to me in our first Live M13 draft. Clearly I lost.

3. Arms Dealer

Arms Dealer is fun on so many levels. First off, just look at that picture. He is so cute! I just want to give him a hug. Also, goblins are inherently fun cards and after you pick Arms dealer, all you really want are a ton of goblins. As far as power level goes, obvi he is sweet, however having only one toughness does present a problem against most decks.

4. Bladetusk Boar

I find base red decks to be pretty rare when drafting M13. And with so few artifact creatures, Bladetusk Boar does good work in most matches. Hitting for 3 every turn is not the worst way you can spend 4 mana. It mkes for a decent blocker if needed as well. But all of that is not the fun part, whats really fun is comboing the boar with ...

5. Volcanic Strength

This may be over doing it a little bit, as well as exposing yourself to the drreaded 2 for 1, But a 5 power unblockable guy to all decks except for the Non-Red with artifact creatures is pretty fun. I admit, I don't run this in most decks, but once you know you are playing against red its an auto include for me. The 2 power is great but getting the extra 2 toughness is what does it for me. It puts most cards out of range of the cheap removal.

Honorable Mentions

Krenko, Mob Boss and Firewing Phoenix were two cards I was considering. Krenko is the absolute nuts. Amazingly hard to beat in limited without have removal already in your hand waiting. But I only wanted to have one rare card and I chose the Dragon.

Firewing phoenix seems sick, but the decks I draft almost always have red as a secondary color, and can't reliably be able to bring back the phoenix from the graveyard.

So what do you think of my list? Please be nice, I have a fragile ego.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

James' Top 5 Funnest Black M13 Cards (with bonus flavor fails)

A list of my top 5 most fun black cards from M13 would have been enough, right? That would have been sufficient, web Brofficer Joe? But I don't roll that way. That's tooooo easy. My list is the top 5 most fun cards that, just for the lolz....ALSO include a flavor fail.

5. Tormented Soul

This card is like a first date. So much potential. If you play right, you might a feel...for what winning a game of Magic is like. But it takes work: a Mark of the Vampire, some exalted dudes, etc. This card is a metaphor for our lives...guys that look like us need help, and this card does too.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

Why do souls have clothes? If he can't be blocked because he's a spirit, why can he hurt you? I stay up at night a lot thinking about that. Well, I did once.

4. Public Execution

 This card has everything I want in a card. Functionality, flavor, awesome art, and a hot gir...well, no hot girl here, but I'm over it. Six mana is tough, but killing a creature is worth six mana, amiright???

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

The -2/-0 until EOT is perfect. The people watching the Execution lose their will to attack. BUT WHY IN THE ART ARE THEY SO PUMPED UP?!?!?!?!?!? They look like Mel Gibson just told them to fight for their freedom. Like Gordon Bombay just told them to quack. Looking at just the picture, +2/+0 is more appropriate, which is enough to make me sadface a little.

3. Xathrid Gorgon

I didn't fully respect this card until someone played it against me. Gee. Gee. Me. Losing. Cry. Drink. Laugh. Drink. Drink. But seriously, this card is pure fun, and powerful in draft. Sweet art to boot. And it has a hot girl, which is always a plus for me.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

Petrification counters. I get it. She looks at you and you turn to stone. Becomes an artifact. Perfect. But you can still block when you're petrified? If this is the case, a stone wall would be like the best defensive creature, and they would never make a creature like th...wait what?

Oops. James Flavor Fail Bonus Fail!!!

Play the horns, bros.

2. Vampire Nighthawk

Impossible not to smile when you open a pack with the Predator. He does everything. Lifelink is so OP. Flying is so OP. Deathtouch is so OP. Moon in the art is so OP. At first, when I saw this card was reprinted I was upset, because this card just wins games by itself...but then I realized this card wins games by itself, and I was happy again.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

How does he fly? Just being in a high place doesn't mean you can fly. If that was the case, a few cards would like to have a word with this card...Mountain Goat is pissed. Cliff Threader? Not amused. Summit Apes about to throw shit.

1. Murder

This is one of those cards that, right when I saw it in the first spoiler, I knew it was cool. I started playing it and I thought, wow, cool. Now that M13 is about done, I still think, wow, cool. For 1BB, kill any creature, the name Murder, that's just beauty. Beauty in a Magic card...don't mention it on your next date though, by the way.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

Why did the person that killed him leave the sword? Kill the dude, take the sword. Seems pretty basic to me. I learned that in Lord of the Rings. On that note, let's go to Elrond for a comment:

See ya brooooos. TO RAVNICA!

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