Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Top 5 Favorite White Cards from M13

So here's a little exercise for the bros.  We've split up the cards from M13 into six sections, and one bro is going to write a list of his five favorite cards from the set that fall into that section.  Here's how they'll be handled:

White: Joe
Green: Nick
Red: Nick
Black: James
Blue: James
Colorless (artifacts and lands): Joe

We toyed with the idea of excluding rares from our discussion, but the reality is that we like all sorts of cards for different reasons.  And besides, anyone worth their salt can tell you that it's much more important to have commons and uncommons that you really like, because you're probably not going to see Xathrid Gorgon every draft.

To kick us off, here are my Top 5 Favorite White Cards from M13:

5. Prized Elephant

Prized Elephant

I might be kind of a knucklehead when it comes to Magic, but I like the idea of cards that have the potential to be worth more than their cost. The most obvious way this happens is in circumstances where the card becomes more valuable in a particular situation, like Metalcraft, or Morbid, or, as with Prized Elephant, when you choose a particular combination of colors. Now, I've looked at some of the Return to Ravnica cards, and the complexity is pretty daunting. But in simple situations like this one, I like the card a lot.

4. Attended Knight

Attended Knight

If you know me at all, you know that one of the main reasons I like white is the abundance of first strike. I think what caused that a lot is that, when I first started playing, it took me a while to truly grasp the concept (and several dozen frustrating moments of play). After getting pummeled enough by it, you start to realize its value. Attended Knight would be a decent card if it were a 2/2 first strike 3-drop, but on top of that you get a little soldier token. Not wildly valuable, but it helps when you need a chump blocker, or if you've got a Trumpet Blast in your pocket.

3. Pacifism

Pacifism

Truthfully, Pacifism feels just as "lame" as picking some rare bomb like Captain of the Watch, because it's so, so good. But it does have a tiny bit of elegance to it, because it embodies its name. The creature cannot attack or block; however, if it's got activated abilities it can use outside of combat, those are still an option. It's not as strong as Arrest, and nor is it quite as expensive. But it's very, very good. And in a color without a ton of removal, it's crucial.

2. Aven Squire

Aven Squire

White is also known for its cheap flyers, and this set is no different. War Falcon is a neat card, but for this list I'm going with Aven Squire. It's a very powerful early game card. On its own, it can often get in for a few beats, and it often takes some time for opponents to handle flyers. Additionally, it doesn't LOOK that powerful, so people can feel bad burning a Plummet or Deadly Recluse on it. Late game it loses some mustard, but hey, most 2 drops do. As a last bonus, it's a Soldier type card, so it gets benefits from Captain of the Watch, and allows War Falcon to attack (making it a 3 power flying attacker when Exalted pops).

1. Intrepid Hero

Intrepid Hero

Intrepid Hero is 100% my kind of card. It's single-white, so it fits nicely into multicolor decks (which are basically all you have when you're drafting). And its ability is just fantastic. White is a color that has some trouble handling opposing creatures outside of combat, so it runs into some difficulty when face with big ass creatures, like the ones green can dish out. Intrepid Hero is also a nice way to stifle combat tricks like Trumpet Blast or Titanic Growth: "Pump him and he dies." And as a last plus, soldier bonus.

But what about...
  • Oblivion Ring - Come on, everybody loves Oblivion Ring. It may not be overrated, because it's a fantastic piece of removal, but there's no real elegance to it.  It's just insanely powerful.
  • Serra Angel - Serra Angel is a wildly popular and very useful card. It's been reprinted a dozen times, and it's perhaps the most prototypical white card out there. Which means that, while it's powerful, it's not noteworthy. We've seen Serra Angel for over a decade, over and over again.
  • Knight of Glory - I like Knight of Glory, I really do.  But, I don't know...if he's a white knight, he should have first strike or vigilance.  That's just where I stand.
  • Captain of the Watch, Serra Avenger, Sublime Archangel - Yeah, they're all rad. There's no real explanation of how good they are, though. They're obviously great. But us bros are all about elegance.
Look for my bros to share their thoughts in the near future.

    Tuesday, May 15, 2012

    2011-2012 Washington Capitals Year In Review


    Well, this was a roller coaster ride.

    The Washington Capitals started 2011-2012 off with a bang, winning their first seven games, the seventh game a 7-1 drubbing of the then-undefeated Detroit Red Wings. I won't deny that the quick jump got me excited for the possibility of great things this year. But the Caps went 5-9-1 over the next 15 games, and following a listless performance against the Buffalo Sabres, former Jack Adams winner Bruce Boudreau was fired. His replacement was longtime Capital Dale Hunter, who figured to implement a much more gritty, defensive, abrasive style of hockey.

    And he did, to the tune of 30-23-7. That is, they won as many games as they lost. But it was a much steadier pace, as the Caps never lost more than three games in a row, which gave a preview of the Caps' playoff performance.

    Washington entered the playoffs as the #7 seed, facing off against the defending champion Bruins. A rough and tumble series with all seven games being decided by a single goal ended with an overtime game-winner by Joel Ward, sending the champs back to Boston and the Caps into a second round matchup against the #1 seed New York Rangers. Again, the Caps went toe-to-toe with the Rangers, but in the end found themselves on the short end of the stick this time. And after scoring only 13 goals in 7 games, there's no one to blame except the Caps themselves, who all series couldn't score a goal when they needed one. Whether that was the fault of coaching or under-performing players, we may never know.

    What we do know is this: the Capitals were a very different team this year than they have been for the past few years, and while it might feel like they had a better playoff run, they actually only got to the second round, the same distance as two of the past three seasons (in both of which the Caps actually managed to beat the Rangers).

    We also know that Dale Hunter won't be back, and that whoever comes in to coach this team is going to have the opportunity to help shape the team's identity going forward. And I think it's that fact most of all that explains why GM George McPhee is in no rush to name a coach. This decision will likely have ramifications for the rest of Alex Ovechkin's career. It's worth taking the time to make sure you're happy with it.

    Look for my Caps offseason preview post in the next couple weeks.

    Sunday, May 13, 2012

    2012 NHL Playoffs - Conference Finals



    WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

    #8 Los Angeles Kings over #3 Phoenix Coyotes, 7 games

    This is a matchup of the two hottest playoff goalies this year, which is actually pretty common come playoff time. A hot goalie is going to win most games, and a team that wins most of their games usually progresses deeply into the playoffs.

    Jonathan Quick might be the best goalie in the world right now, and he's got a team in front of him that's hitting stride at exactly the right time. Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, Anze Kopitar, and especially Dustin Brown are showing a lot of chemistry, and grit, and skill, and that combination is deadly. Drew Doughty had a rough regular season, but finally looks comfortable again at the point. But perhaps the most noteworthy point to make about the Kings is that they've beaten the #1 seed Canucks and #2 seed Blues, and lost a total of one game in those two series. They obviously know how to handle top-end talent.

    Then again, the Coyotes don't have a ton of top end talent. Keith Yandle is an elite defenseman, and Shane Doan is skilled and tough, but outside of them, most of the Coyotes big-minute guys are guys past their prime, not yet in their prime, or quiet, shut-down players.

    I've become a big fan of the way the Coyotes play, and every interview I see with Doan or their blossoming goalie Mike Smith makes me like the guys personally. I've been a Kings fan for a while, too, so I'm torn on who I'd like to see win this series. In the end, I'll have to actually watch some games to see who I find myself cheering for, but as far as predictions, I think the Kings will be too much for the 'Yotes to handle. They can counter every strength of Phoenix, and then they've got dynamic young playmakers that Phoenix just doesn't have an answer for.

    Mostly I just hope whoever wins this series is able to bludgeon the Eastern Conference representative in the Stanley Cup Finals.

    EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

    #6 New Jersey Devils over #1 New York Rangers, 6 games

    I'll admit, I haven't seen a ton of Devils games during these playoffs. I caught a couple half-games from their first-round series against the Panthers, and I saw maybe 5 total periods between the Devils and Flyers. But from what I saw, the Devils seem like a pretty complete team. They've got the ability and the dedication to commit to shutting down an opposing team's top offensive players, particularly on the penalty kill. They've got a few high-caliber scorers in Patrick Elias, Ilya Kovalchuk, and Zach Parise. And they've got the winningest goalie in NHL history in Martin Brodeur.

    The Rangers, meanwhile...well, it's tough to say exactly what they have. Brad Richards is a veteran who's playing like a kid; it seems like he's in on every scoring play, and he's both responsible and talented, a combination that made him the highest-paid free agent from hockey's last offseason. Marian Gaborik is an elite goal-scorer, but he goes through droughts as long as Alex Semin on the ice, or me at bars. The rest of their team is built to funnel easy shots to all-world goalie Henrik Lundqvist and grind the opposition on both ends of the ice.

    The Rangers were able to disrupt Washington last round, but Washington was a team with a strong-minded midseason replacement coach, coming into a team that was built for a completely different style of hockey. New Jersey is all pulling in the same direction, and when that kind of talent and experience gets all their momentum together, they're tough to stop.

    I won't dismiss the idea that after watching 9 hours of Rangers hockey over the past two weeks, I may have simply been exposed to a more complete picture of the team than I have of the Devils, but after watching New York, I'm just not convinced they're very good. And although I'm not at all a fan of New Jersey, between these two teams, you'd better believe I'm rooting against the Rangers.


    Maybe I'll write a season debriefing for the Capitals sometime in the next couple weeks...if I can find a way to clean up all these tears.

    Sunday, May 6, 2012

    A Washington Capitals Constellation Energy Power Play

    I like hockey, specifically the Washington Capitals.  I also enjoy imbibing in the occasional adult beverage.  So, naturally, I set out to find a common ground for the two.  I give you the Washington Capitals Constellation Energy Power Play!

    It's a shooter.

    1 oz. Hot Damn (100 proof)
    .5 oz. sour apple schnapps
    splash Red Bull

    Saturday, April 28, 2012

    2012 NHL Playoffs - Washington Capitals vs. New York Rangers Preview

    Last year, the Capitals bounced the Rangers in five games, though the series was a bit closer than it might seem after the fact. Three years ago, the Caps ousted the Rangers in seven games, and that series was exactly as close as it seems after the fact. So our boys are facing off against New York for the third time in four years; what is there to expect this time around?

    The Rich Get Richards

    Brad Richards was the jewel of last offseason's free agency, and the Rangers were the favorite to sign him. So while it was no surprise when New York picked him up, the consensus in hockey was that this team just catapulted up the power rankings. Many people (including myself) had them finishing first or second in the vaunted Atlantic Division, and they ended up finishing with the best record in the Eastern Conference, due in no small part to Richards.

    These playoffs, Richards has continued to be productive, posting 5 points in their seven game series with the Ottawa Senators. Perhaps most notable is that 4 of those points came on Rangers power plays. If the Capitals are going to win the series, they'll need to make sure not to take bad penalties (against a team with considerable skill in drawing them), and when they do find themselves short-handed, they've got to clamp down, block shots, and hold out for reinforcements.

    New Era Caps

    When the Capitals fired Bruce Boudreau back in late November, Dale Hunter was expected to bring a very different style of play to Washington. Early on, that "style of play" seemed to be just scoring less goals, and the Caps had to scramble to even make the playoffs after back-to-back #1 seeds in the East.

    I can tell you, at least from a fan's perspective, being the #7 seed is very different from being the #1 seed. The games are just as exciting, and your reaction to individual goals is still the same. But the overall mentality between games is completely different. The past three years, I'd been stressed, worried, and afraid of what every game was going to bring  This year, while of course there's still stress, there's also some excitement. And now that the Caps are into the second round after a big upset, the excitement is continuing to overshadow the worry. Not that I don't like locking up a playoff spot early, but rooting from down here is probably a lot better for you.

    The Goalie vs. Holtby

    Henrik Lundqvist had a fantastic season, and he's a nominee for both the Vezina and Hart trophies, and I think he'll win the Vezina (predictions on trophies will come later). He's got six straight seasons of at least 35 wins, and has been considered among the league's best for years. By contrast, Braden Holtby has 21 career NHL games (in which he's 14-4-3). Each of them is coming off of a grueling seven-game series in which they had to single-handedly save games at certain points. Lundqvist's save percentage was .945; Holtby's was .940. Holtby faced the most shots in the first round of any goaltender at 248, though Lundqvist was peppered as well, facing 217 shots.

    I don't know how to look beyond the stats with goalies, because so much of goalie play relies on defense, and because a lot of goalie stats rely on the play of the opposing offense; if they take a lot of bad shots, a goalie can rack up a ton of easy saves. All I can say is that Holtby is playing like an elite goalie with some not-so-good defensemen in front of him (Mike Green is a shadow of his old self...as is Dennis Wideman...as is Roman Hamrlik).

    The Last Word


    Listen, I don't know a ton about hockey. I'm still unsure of the rules on faceoffs (I'd be delighted if someone would teach me about them), and I know I miss stuff developing or not developing because of a play made or missed by this guy or that guy. But I also know that experts don't know all that much about hockey either, or about any sport. Because most people (including me) picked the Penguins to win it all this year. Because most people (including me) expected the Canucks to oust the Kings. Because most of us figured the Patriots would obliterate the Giants in the 2007 Super Bowl. Because, because, because.

    I see a Capitals team here that can match defenses with any team in the East (Nashville and St. Louis are frighteningly good). And I know the Caps have as much offensive talent as anybody in hockey. To top it all off, Braden Holtby is playing like a goalie of legend. The Rangers are a damn good team, but the Caps just beat a damn good team.

    I've got the Capitals over the Rangers in six games.

    LET'S GO CAPS!

    Friday, April 27, 2012

    2012 NHL Second Round Playoff Preview

    Since I'm a fan of accountability, let's look back at how I did with my first round predictions. My "off by _ games" math accounts for both missed wins and missed losses. For example, I predicted the Penguins to win 4-3, but they lost 4-2. So I got one Penguins win wrong (3 vs 4) and two Flyers wins wrong (4 vs 2), making me off by 3 games total.

    My predictions
    Rangers over Senators (correct, off by 2 games)
    Capitals over Bruins (correct)
    Devils over Panthers (correct, off by 1 game)
    Penguins over Flyers (incorrect, off by 3 games)

    Canucks over Kings (incorrect, off by 3 games)
    Blues over Sharks (correct, off by 2 games)
    Blackhawks over Coyotes (incorrect, off by 4 games)
    Predators over Red Wings (correct, off by 1 game)

    Generally not too bad, I vastly under-estimated the Coyotes, and the Flyers/Penguins series was a bloodbath on all counts.  The nice thing is, I really don't like the Canucks or Blackhawks, so even where I was wrong, I was able to take some pleasure out of the result.

    Now, on to round two.

    EASTERN CONFERENCE

    #7 Washington Capitals over #1 New York Rangers, 6 games

    (separate preview forthcoming)

    #5 Philadelphia Flyers over #6 New Jersey Devils, 6 games

    Ilya Kovalchuk and Zach Parise are two of the more underrated scorers in hockey, and certainly Martin Brodeur has the potential to shut down anybody on any given night. But the Flyers have better scoring depth than the Devils, and while the Devils seemed to act like a physical team against Florida, they're going to run into a real deal physical squad in Philadelphia.

    If this series were starting immediately after the Pens/Flyers series concluded, I'd have it as a toss-up.  But I think the time off has given Philadelphia a chance to gather themselves, both physically and mentally, and I have a hard time not seeing them overwhelm New Jersey with three strong scoring lines.  We'll be seeing Scott Hartnell's golden locks in the conference finals.

    WESTERN CONFERENCE

    #8 Los Angeles Kings over #2 St. Louis Blues, 7 games

    This is a matchup between two of my favorite Western Conference teams, and yet two very different teams.  The Blues are a gritty, defense-first team that had low expectations coming into this year and could, in fact, already view the season as a success.  The Kings, meanwhile, made a huge splash in the offseason by trading for Mike Richards, then followed that with a similarly impressive splash mid-season, trading for Richards' former Flyer teammate Jeff Carter.  They've got a dynamic set of scorers who'll give St. Louis' stout defense all it can handle.

    It's going to be an epic struggle of offense versus defense, but I think the X-factor is Vezina finalist Jonathan Quick.  The Blues have a nice tandem of Jaroslav Halak and Brian Elliott, but neither of them is on the same level as Quick.  He'll end up stealing a game that the Blues should win, and that'll be the difference in the series.

    And I have no idea who I'm rooting for.

    #4 Nashville Predators over #3 Phoenix Coyotes, 6 games

    What kind of sucks is that I decided sometime last week that I like the Coyotes enough to root for them against most teams.  I've been a big Shane Doan fan ever since my Xbox 360 NHL '09 Dallas Stars team traded for him in our playoff surge.  And the fact that the Lightning cast aside Mike Smith only to see him flourish elsewhere makes me smile (after last year's sweep at the hands of Tampa Bay, I severely dislike the Lightning).

    But the reality is that Nashville is an extremely strong team.  They had the fifth-most points in all of hockey in 2011-2012, and they boast absolutely, unequivocally the best defensive pairing in the sport with Shea Weber and Ryan Suter.  Both teams are responsible defensively, and have strong goaltenders.  This is going to be an Big Ten kind of matchup, with plenty of low-scoring, tight games, and multiple overtime games.  It's really either team's series to lose, and it's going to come down to a couple of small mistakes deciding this series.  Which is what playoff hockey should be all about, right?  There's nothing like the utter disappointment of losing to a team you know you're just as good as, simply because of a bad bounce or some chipped ice or a flash bulb.

    God, the playoffs are nerve-wracking.

    Guild Wars 2...out of digital copies?

    Apparently Guild Wars 2 is sold out of digital copies.  This sounds ridiculous, but the reasoning is actually sound, and in fact speaks to ArenaNet being good citizens in the gaming community.

    When you release an MMO, players have to go somewhere to play, that somewhere being your servers.  If the servers are overloaded, nobody has a good time.  So, in order to make sure that the game's early adopters get the chance to play it as intended right from the start, a cap was put on the number of digital copies to be made available.  I say good for you guys...

    ...besides, I won't be trying the game for years anyways.

    Wednesday, April 18, 2012

    Sporcle Quiz - WWF Royal Rumble (SNES) Wrestlers

    Trying out a new quiz style, it's a "minefield" style quiz. Basically, if you click a wrong answer, the quiz ends. For those of you who played WWF Royal Rumble for the Super Nintendo, you should be able to name at least a few. Good luck!

    http://www.sporcle.com/games/jargonfacer/wwf-royal-rumble-snes-wrestlers-minefield

    Wednesday, April 11, 2012

    2012 NHL Playoff Preview

    Not much time before the games start, so here's a quick-hitter version of my playoff predictions.

    EASTERN CONFERENCE

    #1 New York Rangers over #8 Ottawa Senators, 5 games

    Ottawa's got a potent offense, but the Rangers are built to stuff. When they added Brad Richards in the offseason, they became a much more dynamic team, and Henrik Lundqvist is a superstar. It was a nice run for the Sens, but this is where it ends.

    #7 Washington Capitals over #2 Boston Bruins, 7 games

    Call it a homer pick if you want, but it feels like the Caps are headed in the right direction, finally. The Bruins were up and down enough, and Tim Thomas isn't what he was last year. Braden Holtby being thrust into the starting goaltender role for Washington could be one of the best stories of the playoffs...assuming he doesn't fall flat.

    #6 New Jersey Devils over #3 Florida Panthers, 6 games

    Is it possible that the Panthers at #3 actually have a harder opening round matchup than the #7 Capitals? The Devils' offense is explosive, and they have, you know, a pretty solid goalie. One thing Florida has working in their favor is their depth of scoring. They had eleven different players with 20 or more points this season, so you can't gameplan against a particular line. Don't really need to, though.

    #4 Pittsburgh Penguins over #5 Philadelphia Flyers, 7 games

    Based purely on talent and coaching, I'd expect Pittsburgh to win in five or six, but the simple distaste these teams have for each other makes it hard for me to imagine them not playing as many games as possible. Sidney Crosby is back, and he joins Evgeni Malkin and Jordan Staal to make the strongest top three centers in the world. Side note: it should be fun as hell to see Jagr come back to Pittsburgh in a playoff setting.

    WESTERN CONFERENCE

    #1 Vancouver Canucks over #8 Los Angeles Kings, 7 games

    The Kings picked up Mike Richards last offseason, and Jeff Carter during the season. Add them to Anze Kopitar and Dustin Brown and you've got a pretty solid set of lines. The real matchup here is from crease to crease, Jonathan Quick versus Roberto Luongo, two of the best goalies in hockey. I think in the end, Luongo's got a little more playoff experience and he'll help his team pull out the series, but this will be a nail-biter.

    #2 St. Louis Blues over #7 San Jose Sharks, 7 games

    The Blues have been playing playoff-style hockey all season, bruising opponents and getting incredible goalie play from Brian Elliott. But the Sharks have a ton of playoff experience (albeit mostly disappointing experience), and they'll give St. Louis all they can handle. I don't know how much the two will match up, but every moment when David Backes is skating against Joe Thornton is precisely what playoff hockey is all about.

    #6 Chicago Blackhawks over #3 Phoenix Coyotes, 6 games

    I wish I could predict the Coyotes to win their first playoff series since they became the Coyotes, but I just can't. Mike Smith has been incredible for Phoenix, and I'm expecting him to steal two games. In the end, though, unless Jonathan Toews doesn't play at all, the Blackhawks are just too strong top to bottom.

    #4 Nashville Predators over #5 Detroit Red Wings, 6 games

    The Red Wings were great at home, but decidedly unimpressive on the road, and as most of you know, teams play both at home and on the road during the playoffs. Pavel Datsyuk is one of my favorite players, but with Shea Weber and Ryan Suter, the Preds can counter pretty much any team's best line. The Wings' forward depth doesn't wow me like it used to, so I'm taking Nashville.

    Monday, April 9, 2012

    This Letter in Gaming - A

    So I've finally put together a Sporcle quiz that I think is decent. It's got a good variety to it, and hopefully a wide range of questions, from simple to challenging. The quiz link is below. Basically, all answers to the questions will begin with the letter A, but the questions refer to games from the past 15+ years of gaming, from the NES to the Xbox 360. Feedback welcome.

    http://www.sporcle.com/games/jargonfacer/this-letter-in-gaming---a

    Friday, March 23, 2012

    Dead Island Music Video

    The last time I posted a video on YouTube with music, it had its audio track removed after a few days, so who knows how long this video will stay up and visible. And truthfully, it's not that good; you get a window into how I'm actually not all that good at video games. BUT, there's a moment (at time index 1:29) where the music syncs up perfectly with the mayhem. It's only a single moment, and probably not worth the build-up, but watch it anyways. Be a pal.

    Wednesday, March 21, 2012

    Sporcle Quiz - River City Ransom Shops

    Hey guys, I posted a new quiz over on Sporcle. This one's about the classic NES game River City Ransom, asking you to name each of the shops in the game. Not super-exciting, but hey, I'm still getting my feet wet, still getting the hang of the mechanics. My next quiz will be epic...or at least a bit more fun.

    http://www.sporcle.com/games/jargonfacer/river-city-ransom-shops

    Tuesday, March 20, 2012

    Big MFin' Trees


    Nothing fancy today, no witty comments or bizarre pictures. Just some tall ass trees from Terraria.

    Sunday, March 18, 2012

    Nice Work, Dungeon Defenders


    There aren't a ton of things that I unequivocally like. Jurassic Park is one of those things. So beating those fifteen levels of Dungeon Defenders was all worth it, just for this gimmick poster in my secret room.

    Thursday, March 15, 2012

    Tuesday, March 13, 2012

    March Madness - Jake and Amir

    Jake and Amir is a web series that I've been watching pretty consistently for a couple years now. And while it's gone a little downhill, the one thing I can always come back to when I'm looking for a laugh is the March Madness episodes. So, with the madness upon us, enjoy:






    http://www.collegehumor.com/video/5983226/jake-and-amir-march-madness-pt-3

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6453550/jake-and-amir-march-madness-part-4

    Friday, March 9, 2012

    Sporcle - Diablo Quiz

    As a sports fan, I love trivia. Trying to remember the minutiae of decades of happenings, even if I'm not particularly good at it, is fun as hell.

    Enter Sporcle. The site is basically a wiki-trivia page. Any user can create a quiz on any topic, and post it for others to play. It's fairly simple, but with a good number of options. I spend most of my time on the sports section, but there are quizzes on entertainment, geography, history, and yes, video games.

    So anyways, I made a tiny little quiz. And I'll make more. Promise.

    http://www.sporcle.com/games/jargonfacer/original-diablo-npcs

    Wednesday, March 7, 2012

    Puzzle Agent 2...EPIC


    Honestly, this picture only tells you about 4% of the epicness of Puzzle Agent 2.

    Actually, if we're being truthful here, the puzzles in this game aren't as good as in the original. And the story is a little more hokey. But it's a fun time-killer, and has low system requirements, so it runs on my work machine. And that's clutch.

    Friday, March 2, 2012

    Space Time Caps Tickets


    Do you see the issue with the ad in the middle of the screen? I'll give you a clue: it's not that the ticket prices are outrageous (though I believe they are).

    Need another clue?

    Look at the bottom right. They're advertising tickets for a game gone by. They did win the game 4-3, though, so if you could travel back in time to go to the game, at least it's a win.

    Wednesday, February 29, 2012

    A Giant Tree


    When some people see a giant tree standing alone, they marvel at its magnificence, they consider their own insignificance, and perhaps they even feel a connection to God. Me? I chop that sucker down.

    Monday, February 27, 2012

    Indiscriminate Murder is Counter-Productive

    While also true as just a moral point of view, the above phrase is an even more impressive song. I discovered it while browsing through available tracks to download through the Rock Band Network, and (obviously) the title spoke to me. So I listened, I enjoyed the snippet I heard, and took a chance on the tune.

    And now I've found a new band that I like. It's a fun combination of 8-bit Nintendo licks with an accomplished metal band on top. Think Coheed and Cambria meets Rad Racer.

    Friday, February 24, 2012

    The Search for Sky Islands


    Sky islands are one of the most exciting finds in Terraria, both because of their potential for exceptional loot and because they're so difficult to find. They're so difficult...difficult to...to find...

    Really?

    Wednesday, February 22, 2012

    Can You...


    I was looking for that site www.canyourunit.com, and Google gave me the correct recommendation...along with another kind of hilarious suggestion.

    Monday, February 20, 2012

    Wednesday, February 15, 2012

    Renewed

    Hey guys, just as a heads up, I'm clearing out 2011's movies and games, and starting the new list for 2012. Exciting, right?

    No, it's not exciting, don't patronize me.

    Tuesday, February 14, 2012

    Zombie Hard at Work


    Zombie Bill is hard at work, burning the midnight oil despite his LACK OF A HEAD.

    2011 Games of the Year #1 - Terraria

    There are two things I like in video games: I like making stuff, and I like blowing stuff up. Terraria offers both options in spades, so I like Terraria. A lot, in fact. Enough to net the #1 spot on my games of the year list for 2011.

    Terraria is reminiscent of Minecraft, but it's got a few aspects that I think set it apart, positively. First, Terraria has a bit more direction for you. There are feats to accomplish, and rewards for doing so:
    • Build a house? You now have somewhere safe from zombies when night falls, and a place for NPCs to hang out.
    • Shatter an evil orb? A meteorite may fall from the sky, giving you access to a unique resource to craft better armor and weapons.
    • Defeat Skeletron, a floating skeleton head and a pair of bony hands? The tailor is free of his curse, and can offer you his wares.
    Additionally, Terraria is 2D, rather than Minecraft's 3D nature. Certainly there is value to the 3D system, but adding the third dimension also adds another level of trickiness to the game, and at least in my limited experience, another level of frustration in building. Also, by using a 3rd-person point of view, with a standard mouse cursor, it's much easier to be able to build what you're actually trying to build, without having to constantly mine and place blocks (I cite my crafted version of Air Man as an example).

    Finally, and I may get some detractors here, but I think Terraria's just a better-looking game. The graphics are eye-pleasing if simplistic, and everything is crisp and easy to see. It may run on basically Super Nintendo graphics, but the Super Nintendo did alright. I don't remember people ever complaining that Final Fantasy III didn't look good enough.

    Terraria's got a nice flavor when played multiplayer, as it adds in that level of panic that all good multiplayer needs. You can work together to take down bosses, and cover each other while harvesting the lands resources. It's also got a PvP option, though I've never used it. But I could see it being fun, in the right circumstances.

    More than anything, I like Terraria's potential. The game has received two huge updates since I purchased it last year, and I've read plenty of articles of people talking about their gaming experiences, and sharing their creations. I've really enjoyed what I've seen so far, and I'm excited about how much more it can be.

    Oh. And as always...fuck Valentine's Day.

    Monday, February 13, 2012

    2011 Games of the Year #2 - Dead Island

    As someone who's got a history of liking zombie games, I looked forward to Dead Island for a while. From Left 4 Dead to Dead Rising, and through a plethora of lesser games, I've always been on the lookout for another zombie game. Something about killing zombies just feels gratifying, more so than Nazis or wild beasts. It's like I'm doing God's work...

    Dead Island is a slightly different kind of game from a lot of the other zombie games out there, though. It draws on two games in particular: Left 4 Dead (obviously) and Borderlands (not so obviously). The basic scenario (zombies overrunning everything) and many of the enemies seem to hearken back to Left 4 Dead. And it definitely induces the same sort of panic when you start getting pummeled by the infected.

    But overall, the game is actually more like Borderlands, morphed into a melee-heavy game. You spend a lot of time accumulating gear and doing quests. The missions are fairly straight-forward: kill X zombies, collect Y supplies, escort Z bastard back to base. Yes, there are escort quests, and yes, they suck ass, just as they do in every other game. But the innate universal bullshit of escort quests isn't enough to counter the substantial awesomeness of Dead Island.

    One of the cooler facets of the game is the crafting of new weapons. You can take a simple weapon like a baseball bat and add barbed wire or razors, or take a machete and charge it with electricity. You can also create bombs, Molotov cocktails, and ammunition. Guns aren't all that useful in the game, but they have their place. Mostly, though, you're hacking and slashing up close and personal, which gets pretty tense. Especially because you really can't take many hits before you're toast.

    Multiplayer is enjoyable, though you'll likely miss out on some of the cutscenes because people click through, or because you're hearing your friend talk shit. Truthfully, though, the story in my experience so far has been fairly blah, so you're not missing much. The negatives of missing plot points are far outweighed by the enjoyment of partnering up with three friends and stomping on zombie skulls.

    Though there are ways to improve upon it, Dead Island one of the strongest zombie games out there.

    Friday, February 10, 2012

    Magic Cards - Crash Man


    A friend and I have been tinkering with a freely available Magic Set Editor program, using it to create a for-fun Magic set using Mega Man 2. Above is one of the cooler cards we've created. Yes, I just used "cool" to describe a Magic card based on an old Nintendo game. My nerdity knows no bounds. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch some Star Trek: Voyager.

    2011 Games of the Year #3 - Magic 2012

    As Anthony put it, "The game so nice you bought it twice!"

    Many months ago, Xbox Live had a sale that dropped Magic 2012's price down to $5, and so I jumped on it. I've always been intrigued by Magic: The Gathering, but it's quite a complex system, which makes it a bit intimidating. And when you're a nerd like me, you're easily intimidated. I had bought the previous version, and I found it fun, but frustrating, as it was pretty buggy. Interesting enough that I was willing to give the new version a half a shot, and boy am I glad I did.

    The game is...well, it's Magic. But there are a few things that the game does particularly well to bridge the gap between Magic neophyte and total nerd-bomb.

    The first thing is the decks. They start you with just two decks to choose from, and they're fairly straight-forward decks. That's not to say they don't have their own intricacies and nuances, they're just a little easier to spot. As you play the game and win matches, you unlock more and more decks, with escalating levels of complexity. So by the time you win the last few decks, you've learned enough to actually be able to use them effectively.

    The second bridging factor is the use of "puzzles." The advanced puzzles are mostly exercises in frustration, but the first 6 or 7 are learning tools. They help you learn about some of the more common keywords and activated abilities, and teach you (often through trial and error) how the different cards work together, and how to generate synergies. Some of it can be frustrating, but it's pretty damn gratifying when your plans come together perfectly.

    It's got online multiplayer which is entertaining enough, but the most fun I've had playing the game is playing local multiplayer, using the Archenemy feature. Archenemy is a 3 vs. 1 game, where the solo player gets bonus "schemes" that give him a distinct advantage. Only by the three players working together can they defeat the Archenemy, and Nick, Eddie and I have spent several hours working together to try to take down the super-villain.

    In Steam's end-of-the-year sale, the PC version of Magic went on a deep enough discount, and enough of my friends purchased it that I grabbed a second copy so that I could play with them. And in fact, I purchased a third copy that I gave to Scooter, so we could play some cross-continent battles. They've come out with three deck packs that offer two new decks apiece, and I've purchased all three for PC, as well as two of the three for 360.

    It's a good strategy game that takes some time to get the hang of, but when you do, it's a lot of fun. And the games are short enough that you don't have to play for four hours to feel like you did something. I'm looking at you, World of Warcraft.

    Wednesday, February 8, 2012

    2011 Games of the Year #4 - Jolly Rover

    There was no way I could've predicted this game making the top five list at the beginning of the year. There was also no way I could've predicted this game making my top five when I actually started playing the game. Jolly Rover wasn't striking off the bat, and it wasn't a particularly long, or challenging, or immersive game. And yet, all those aspects seemed to work together just fine to create a perfectly enjoyable game.

    Jolly Rover is a point-and-click adventure game, like the old King's Quest and Police Quest games. Your character is a poor, scrawny little pirate dog, so you can't use brute force or high tech gadgets to accomplish your goals. You have to use your wits, your instincts, and the occasional input from your chirpy little parrot, who gives you clues if you give him a cracker.

    Anyways, you move through your mission...quest...thing, meeting characters, getting bullied, and making funny asides. The puzzles are fairly interesting, and the jokes are actually quite witty. As I said, the game isn't an epic, but that actually works in its favor. The humor might run thin over a 14-hour game, but for just a few hours, it stays fresh and fun.

    The one half-complaint I have about the game is that you can't lose. I don't mean that you have to start over if you fail; I mean that you literally aren't allowed to do anything that would cost you the game. In this regard, Jolly Rover is more of a cinematic experience than a game. But you definitely don't feel like you're not part of the adventure.

    The best thing I can say about Jolly Rover is that it reminded me how much fun I used to have playing point-and-click adventure games. It was a fun, quick experience that I'm glad to have had.

    Tuesday, February 7, 2012

    2011 Games of the Year #5 - Pokemon Pinball Ruby/Sapphire

    Way back when I was living at home, we had kind of an unreliable power situation. When weather hit, either heavy thunderstorms or heavy snow, we often lost electricity at the house, and we'd have to either sit around and do nothing or play Kevin's Game Boy. So we'd usually trade off turns on the original Pokemon Pinball.

    With a 17-hour train trip down to Disney World at the beginning of 2011, I knew I'd need to be entertained for a while. So I grabbed my own Game Boy Advance and snagged a copy of Pokemon Pinball Ruby/Sapphire to fill the time. And it was worth it.

    The game is simple enough; it's pinball. There are two boards, one much more difficult than the other, but both follow the same basic premise. You capture various pokemon, evolve them, run through bonus levels, and so forth. It's really not so much that the game is anything special; it's just a fun, simple game in portable form. Sometimes that's all you need. Good enough for #5 on the list.

    No matter what...


    ...life finds a way. Even in between two meteorites.

    Games of the Year - 2011 Eligible List

    Last year was a much different year than previous years as far as my video gaming, the big difference being that I really didn't play much in the way of "new" games. Most of my gaming time was spent revisiting games I had played in the past (Mass Effect, Dead Rising 2, Rollercoaster Tycoon, World of Warcraft) or continuing to play multiplayer games that I started playing a year or two before last (Borderlands, League of Legends). This leaves us with a fairly sparse list of eligible games, and a tough decision on which games will make my top five. But hey, that's why they pay me the big bucks, right?

    Here's the list of eligible games for my 2011 Game of the Year:

    Gameboy Advance
    Mega Man Battle Network 3
    Pokemon Pinball Ruby/Sapphire

    PC
    BIT.TRIP.BEAT
    Champions Online
    DC Universe Online
    Dead Island
    Half-Life
    Jolly Rover
    Magicka
    Puzzle Pirates
    Terraria

    Playstation 3
    Call of Duty - Black Ops
    Demon's Souls

    Xbox 360
    Dead Rising 2: Case West
    Magic 2012

    Wednesday, January 25, 2012

    2011 Movies of the Year

    Last year was a nice year for me with regards to movies. I watched 47 films over the course of 2011, some of them fantastic, some of them not so good, but all of them added to my deposit of movie knowledge, and if I'm being honest, that's all I really care about: being able to talk to other people about said movies.

    There's no point in delaying or discussing this any longer, so let's just get into the list. Top 5 movies I watched in 2011...go!

    5. Your Highness - Danny McBride crested quickly after Pineapple Express, but he seems to have already cooled off. I think he's going to (and in fact probably already does) find himself typecast as bone-headed, foul-mouthed, and arrogant. He does it really well, though. And Your Highness is the best combination of comedy and fantasy since The Princess Bride...which basically means it's better than Black Knight. Regardless, it's a fun film with decent action and some good swears and quotable lines.

    4. It's Kind of a Funny Story - I'm not one of these people that goes apeshit for everything that Zach Galifianakis touches. In fact, creepy as this is going to sound, Emma Roberts was more of a draw for me in watching this film. Really though, I've just enjoyed most movies about crazy people: Girl Interrupted, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Dream Team, A Beautiful Mind, etc. This movie was a lot cuter than most of those, but I liked it a lot all the same. It was fun, sweet, and warm.

    3. No Strings Attached - I'll probably take some flack for this pick, but I can't help it. I saw the movie in the theater (making it one of like four movies I saw in the theater last year), and truthfully, I had to pee like the whole time. But also truthfully, I couldn't bring myself to leave the theater, for fear that I'd miss another great joke. My full review is here, so I'll let that tell the whole story, but I can say without a doubt that I laughed more at No Strings Attached than I did at any other movie in 2011.

    2. The Muppets
    - I saw this movie late in 2011...like, December 30th. To give you guys a little background, I loved The Muppet Show when I was a kid. We went to Disney World last week, and even though it's pretty tired and a little outdated, I couldn't help but push us towards going to see The Muppets in 3-D for the umpteenth time, because the Muppets are the most nostalgic piece of television from my childhood. The movie itself was good, though the best jokes were those that poked fun at the movie itself. There were good cameos, fun songs, and a triumph of good over evil. But mostly, it was just really nice to sit and watch my favorite characters from my youth again. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little misty-eyed at points.

    1. About a Boy
    - My aunt told me I'd love this movie...about a decade ago. But at that age, I made all sorts of judgments about Hugh Grant, non-action movies, and basically everything on the planet. But after growing up a bit, and after really enjoying some other Nick Hornby works, I decided to give the flick a shot, and it's pretty great. It's not overly negative, but it's realistic, with its fair share of darkness and sorrow. Maybe the most impressive thing about the movie is how genuinely it captures the strange thought processes that a kid can have, especially when presented with trying and serious situations. It's funny in a lot of really great ways, but also boasts a good story. Absolutely deserving of my stamp as Movie of the Year.

    Now, as far as 2012 goes. I might have already mentioned this, but I'm not going to review movies as I watch them any longer. I wasn't doing a great job of it as is, and I don't really have enough to say about any particular movie to warrant an entire blog post. I'll still accumulate a list over the year, and I'll start doing this post annually, because it gives me something to do.

    And I'll still go to the movies with you. :)

    The Year That Will Be...2012

    In all likelihood, if you're reading this post, you read my recent post summarizing my 2011. In re-reading it, I noticed that the blog might've come across slightly more negatively than I intended. While 2011 was by no means a rousing success, it certainly had its bright spots. Some I'm happy to talk about, some I'd rather not talk about, and a few I can't really remember. But enough that I should probably look back on the year a little more fondly than I do. And maybe, from a farther vantage point (aka in the future), I will.

    But for today, we'll look into the near future, and make plans for 2012. Not concrete plans (though I did cash in on my concrete plans to visit Disney World last week), but a variety of..."intentions." I won't call them resolutions, because I feel like resolutions are either too vague (eat better, exercise more, be less of a racist asshole) or too easily dismissed as impossible after six weeks (see the previous list). I like the word "intentions," because it captures my sentiments. I intend to do these things.

    What things, you ask? I'm not telling.

    Not now, at least. I have written them down, and I even created a little worksheet for myself to track some of them. But some of them are too personal, and some are irrelevant to most of you. Most of all, though, I've found that I rely far too heavily on other people for my happiness. Involving other people right from the get-go just sets me up for disappointment, when I don't get two dozen emails and comments regarding my list.

    But, because I like living in the limelight, I'll give you a little glimpse into my list of intentions. If you're looking for "train a team of guinea pigs to row a tiny boat" though, you may be disappointed.

    - I am hoping to get myself back on the fitness train. I had a real nice first half of the year in 2011, but I undid way too much of that good work over the second half. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to try to find a way to get myself back on that horse.
    - Similarly, the first half of last year I spent a lot of time working on creating a board game. I even had a test playthrough of the rough draft. The playthrough was informative, though it ended up with me deciding that the concept had to be split into two different games. My goal this year is to finish one of those games.
    - I also want to be more social this year. I have a couple different concepts on how to make that happen which I won't go into, but the general idea is to get out more and do more.

    Whether or not I'll be successful at these and my other, private or uninteresting goals remains to be seen, but no matter what, I hope to have an enjoyable and productive 2012, and I wish the same for all of you.

    Also I hope the world doesn't end.

    Sunday, January 8, 2012

    Is Jorge Posada a Hall of Famer?

    Joe emailed me late Saturday and posed an intriguing question: "Is Jorge Posada a Hall of Famer?"

    This is a pretty good question. My initial thought without looking at anything is "No, Posada was a good player on some great teams, but was never Hall of Fame caliber". But since that was just my gut reaction, I took some time and looked into it.

    Because the physical demands of the position are orders of magnitude higher than any other position on a baseball field, catchers can really only be compared against themselves. There have been three catchers admitted to the HOF since 1989: Johnny Bench, Carlton Fisk and Gary Carter (not counting the 2006 induction of former Negro Leaguers Biz Mackey and Louis Santop...sorry guys but I've got no point of reference for the Hillsdale Giants in the 1920s). Additionally, there is almost no doubt that Mike Piazza is headed to the Hall of Fame, since his offensive numbers would be good enough to warrant admission regardless of his position (400+ homers and a lifetime .308 batting average) and are better than Bench, Fisk and Carter. So with that in mind, to make Posada's case for the HOF his numbers should be in line with those four guys.

    Here are the lifetime stats:

    Bench: 389 HR, 1376 RBI, .267/.342/.476 in 8669 PA

    Fisk: 376 HR, 1330 RBI, .269/.341/.457 in 9853 PA

    Carter: 324 HR, 1225 RBI, .262/.335/.439 in 9019 PA

    Piazza: 427 HR, 1335 RBI, .308/.377/.545 in 7745 PA

    Posada: 275 HR, 1065 RBI, .273/.374/.474 in 7150 PA

    From this comparison, it's easy to see that Posada clearly has the weakest offensive numbers of the bunch. This being a straight up comparison, it doesn't take into account the fact that Posada played in a much more favorable offensive environment (scoring was up approximately half a run per game than when Bench, Fisk and Carter played). By not being able to match the offensive numbers of recent HOF caliber catchers in a much more favorable offensive era, it's really hard to make the case that Posada is in the upper echelon of all time hitting catchers.

    Of course as I mentioned at the start, there is more to catching than just hitting. Of the five guys I'm comparing, only Piazza and Posada lack a Gold Glove (Bench has nine, Carter four and Fisk one). While that may be an arbitrary award, it at least gives some idea of whether or not a guy is making a difference in the game defensively, something that can be very difficult to quantify. Something that is less difficult to quantify is career caught stealing percentage where, again, Posada is near the bottom of the list (Bench an unreal 43%, Fisk 34%, Carter 35%, Posada 28% and Piazza 23%). If you want a more "SABRmetric" view of their defensive abilities, only Posada (-2.9) and Piazza (-8.3) have negative lifetime defensive WARs, while Bench (6.5), Fisk (2.6) and Carter (10.0) were all improvements over the "average" defensive catcher. It may not be as clean as the offensive comparison, but by looking at several defensive minded stats and awards we can see that Posada was not a very good defensive catcher and was certainly not in the same class as Bench, Fisk and Carter (and who really cares if Mike Piazza was playing any defense with the way that guy raked).

    Jorge Posada had a very good career and was part of four World Series champion teams, but ultimately both offensively and defensively he falls short of the elite receivers of the game. He also doesn't have a pop song named after him (but not at all about him) like Mike Piazza, something I hear the HOF committee puts a premium on.

    Thursday, January 5, 2012

    Movies of the Year - 2011 Eligible List

    Back in early 2011, I declared that I'd be reviewing movies for the year, similar to my game reviews. This means that my assessments would be not of movies that were released in 2011, but movies that I saw for the first time in 2011. So while some people's lists will have movies like The Help and X-Men: First Class, my list has Rock Star and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

    In a week or two, I'll post my top five movies of the year. Look forward to that. I command you.

    2011 Eligible Movies
    28 Weeks Later
    30 Minutes or Less
    About a Boy
    American Gangster
    Any Given Sunday
    Battle: Los Angeles
    Big Fan
    Clash of the Titans (2010)
    Dave
    Day of the Dead (1985)
    Day of the Dead (2008)
    Fanboys
    For Your Consideration
    Gamer
    Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2
    Highlander
    Iron Man 2
    It's Kind of a Funny Story
    Law Abiding Citizen
    No Strings Attached
    Paul
    Precious
    Predator 2
    Rampage
    Rock Star
    Run Ronnie Run!
    Safe Men
    Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
    Super 8
    The Book of Eli
    The Crazies (1973)
    The Crazies (2010)
    The Goods
    The Grand
    The Men Who Stare At Goats
    The Perfect Score
    The Winning Season
    This is Spinal Tap
    Twilight
    Twilight - Eclipse
    Twilight - New Moon
    Underworld: Evolution
    Vantage Point
    Visioneers
    We Are Marshall
    Your Highness

    The Year That Was...2011

    So, 2011 is behind us. For some of us, it was a year of rebirth and renewal, excitement and adventure, accomplishment and...well, doesn't matter, wasn't that for me. Aside from a few invaluable new friends and my little weight loss excursion, 2011 was really just another year gone by for me.

    Note: This post will only look back on 2011. My intentions for 2012 will be posted in a future blog.

    Looking back inside the scope of the blog, I notice a few things. First, I didn't really do much reviewing of books or TV shows. I didn't review much literature because I really only read a half-dozen books last year. And I didn't review TV shows because it's so rare that you watch the entire run of a TV show that you haven't already seen. I think I watched the full series of three shows last year, and only two of which had I seen for the first time: Dead Like Me and Sports Night. The other was Star Trek: The Next Generation, which was obviously fantastic, but I had mostly already seen.

    I did review a fair number of movies. Seventeen, if we're being specific...and there's really no reason not to be, when you have the number. There were movies that I liked a lot that I didn't review. Why? I think because reviewing movies doesn't really speak to me. It's a subjective, arbitrary exercise, and it's tough for me to aggressively analyze and judge a movie, when I'm pretty okay with most movies. I like some more than others, of course. But trying to write up a full blog post about my feelings for a movie never felt right. Something to think about going forward.

    I did play some games this year, though, I don't know, I feel like I didn't "accomplish" anything with regards to video games. I played a lot of games I'd already played pretty heavily (NHL '09, Mass Effect, Dead Rising 2, League of Legends), and spent a good deal of time on Terraria, which you can't really beat. I enjoyed all of this time, but there's a certain satisfaction that comes from defeating a game that has a definite endpoint.

    The weight loss competition between me and Nick was a definite highlight of the year, not just because I was able to lose some weight, but also because it created mandatory parties every month for six months. It seems like people don't throw parties often enough these days, or maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong crowd, but I do like parties. I order you all to throw more parties, and invite me.

    I'll be posting my brand new Top 5 Movies of the Year post sometime soon, and I'll start the process of examining my year in video games, so look for that series of annual posts as well. Finally, I'll be posting a sort of New Year's Resolutions blog this month, a little less public than a lot of people make their resolutions, and some of my intentions will be kept to myself, but I'll share some of my plans with the four of you who happen upon my blog in the next three months. So, look forward to that.

    See ya, 2011.

    Monday, December 12, 2011

    Movie Reviewed - Any Given Sunday

    Sometimes, you go into a movie expecting a lot, and you're left disappointed. Sometimes, you go into a movie not expecting much, and being pleasantly surprised. And sometimes, you go into a movie expecting mediocrity, and you get it. Such was the case with Any Given Sunday, rated a middling 50% on Rotten Tomatoes.

    The movie is about a football team (obviously), struggling to make the playoffs as all teams do. They suffer an injury to their starting quarterback, and the film follows the rise and fall of the backup quarterback, played by Jamie Foxx. He starts out nervous and wild, but shows flashes of brilliance, and becomes one of the big stories of the season.

    There are ups and downs, crises of character, and the whole gamut of experiences that we so often encounter in Oliver Stone's films. But the thing about trying to make a non-traditional football movie, a football movie about football players, rather than the team, is that most of the time, you get caught. You get caught between exploring the various characters and their trials, and trying to tell the story of a football team. You delve into the players because as a writer, that's where you wanted to go with this movie. But you follow the team because that's what a lot of movie-goers want to see, and, if we're being truthful, football sells.

    Don't misunderstand me, though. There are definitely bright spots in the film. Lawrence Taylor actually does a damn good job portraying a half-crazy defensive star whose injuries put his life at risk. And as a Redskins fan, I can completely identify with an up-and-down season with an intrusive owner. Finally, Al Pacino's big speech (a mandatory in all sports movies) is quite good...and not just because it's used in a montage at Caps games.

    But there are too many parts that feel like they're trying to say something that just don't go anywhere. There are so many concurrent storylines that it feels like none of them really get fleshed out appropriately. There's a doctor who over-medicates players (and his intern who disagrees with his actions), a linebacker who's trying to get to a performance incentive, the two quarterbacks each with their own set of circumstances, a legendary coach who's time may have passed, a severe owner who inherited the company from her father, assistant coaches, secondary players, and a whole slew of family and friends.

    I'm reminded of a quote from a quirky Michael Douglas movie called Wonder Boys:
    "...it sort of reads in places like you didn't make any choices. At all."
    I think in all work, you have to make decisions to leave things out, to say that this is the story I want to tell, and the only stuff I'm going to include is the stuff that makes this story more complete. The storyline with the team doctor is interesting, but it's utterly useless to the main storyline of the coach, or the secondary storyline of the quarterbacks. I feel like, for as important as teamwork is to football, this movie needed to be a little less about the team.

    The Last Word: Fine. It was fine. Worth seeing once, not worth seeing again.

    Thursday, December 8, 2011

    Double Movie Reviewed - The Crazies (1973 & 2010)

    How's this for reviewing efficiency? A double review of the original and the remake of The Crazies. Buckle up.

    The plot of both movies focuses on a man and woman, a couple who find themselves in a town where people are beginning to act strangely, a result of a crashed plane carrying dangerous chemicals. The government steps in and attempts to first contain, then eliminate the infected people, with brutal results. The couple, along with a small party, move through the city and attempt to escape the madness.

    (1973)

    The original film, directed by horror legend George Romero, is a fairly typical horror story these days: infection, deaths, hysteria, many many more deaths, and a morbid ending. While predictable, though, the story and the acting are able to carry it enough that it's plenty entertaining.

    One of the convenient things about this story concept is that it doesn't demand that the movie create fantastic special effects. In fact, part of what makes the story compelling is its utter realism. You don't have to believe in the living dead or alien invasions or ghosts to be able to buy into the concept of the story. It's simply a town where everyone is losing their minds. Additionally, this non-difference between infected people and regular people is a precipitating factor in one of the turning points late in the movie.

    The Last Word: The original flick is definitely enjoyable. It obviously suffers from unexceptional special effects, but it survives that shortcoming to still be an entertaining movie.

    (2010)

    The remake of Romero's original can best be described as "modern." The basic story is consistent, but the execution is considerably darker, and things turn morbid quickly. It's a fairly predictable adjustment of the old story, incorporating a lot more panic, fear, and bloody, bloody murder. It's got my brother's favorite actor Timothy Olyphant, who I laugh at because his name is from Lord of the Rings.

    But seriously, for a remake, this version has a pretty different tone. It's heavy-handed, violent, and gory. That's not to say that it's not enjoyable; it has its place. But in the modern translation, some of the finesse of the original is lost.

    The Last Word: A tense, action-packed ride that follows two people through an increasingly unstable world. It's not going to blow your mind, but if you want to just curl up and be frightened, you're in business.

    Thursday, December 1, 2011

    Movie Reviewed - Highlander

    There can be only one.

    For whatever else you might think of it, Highlander gave us one of the all time great lines in movie history. And there are plenty of reasons to either love or hate Highlander, depending on your ability and/or willingness to suspend reality, and put aside some completely over-the-top acting.

    The story is interesting enough, as it attempts to incorporate a medieval fantasy story into modern times. It's clearly written by a young man, but as I've got the maturity level of a pimply 15-year-old, I can appreciate it. Connor McLeod (Christopher Lambert) is a Scottish highlander who discovers that he's one of a select few Immortals, destined to live forever until decapitated by another Immortal, culminating at an epic battle in New York City (I told you, it was clearly written by a young man).

    The fight scenes are good. They're not the insane fight scenes that you get in a lot of new movies, but that almost makes them more believable. They're angry and loud, and while they don't give you the "oh shit!" moments that modern action scenes do, they seem to fit into the story perfectly.

    The actual story progression is fairly slow, though, and outside of Sean Connery, the acting is gratuitous. While the concept of the story is interesting, the execution of it, particularly the modern portions in New York, are bland and uninspired. I think it'd be better served by spending more time following the many lifetimes of the various Immortals. It's possible that some of the sequels or the subsequent television show go into this, which is why I'll probably end up checking them out at some point.

    There are a few well-placed Queen songs in the movie, and the villain is well-cast and, though he's a little much sometimes, well-acted. The love story is a little far-fetched, but in a world with people who live forever, some irrational acts by a woman don't seem so unreasonable. And in the end, you do find yourself rooting for the hero, which is kind of mandatory for any solid action flick. I think it's a film that gets over-appreciated sometimes, under-appreciated other times, and the reality is that it resides somewhere in the middle. Overall, I liked it as a time-killer, and am glad that I finally got around to watching it.

    The Last Word: A neat concept along with plenty of Queen songs and some intense swordfights make for a decent enough movie, which is how I'd classify Highlander: decent enough.

    Wednesday, November 30, 2011

    Movie Reviews - Lightning Round

    I know it's been a while since I posted a review, and I've seen several movies in the meantime. Additionally, the year is coming to an end, and I'd like to have most of these movies reviewed by the end of the year, so you can prepare yourself for my "Movies of the Year" post (which will undoubtedly be dominated by movies that did not come out this year).

    So, in order to provide a more complete picture of my film experience this year, I'm going to be going through sort of a "lightning round" of reviews. They'll be a little shorter than usual, but they'll be posted much more frequently. Hopefully I'll get through any movies you were hoping to hear me write about. If, after the first of the year, there are any movies I didn't review that you were really hoping to hear me talk about, by all means, badger me.

    The American League MVP

    So ends another awards season for Major League Baseball. And whether you were rooting for Hellickson or Hosmer, Halladay or Kershaw, Braun or Kemp, we can all agree that the award winners all had tremendous seasons, and each deserves accolades for their accomplishments.

    That being said, neither Justin Verlander nor any other pitcher should ever win an MVP award.

    (Yeah, it's gonna be one of those posts. Pull up a chair, get out your angry pencils, and let's do this.)

    The fact that they're eligible for the award should not encourage baseball writers to cast their votes for pitchers. A change in the eligibility will never happen, because baseball prefers ambiguity (see: strike zones). But writers need to take it upon themselves to make this one of those dozens of "unwritten rules" in baseball, because plain and simple, pitchers cannot be the league's most valuable player.

    I'd imagine I've got at least half of you riled up at this point, thinking that I've got a lot of nerve. And maybe I do. But I've got my reasons.

    First, there is some truth to the thinking that pitchers have their award, and hitters only have the MVP award. The Cy Young Award and the Most Valuable Player Award each have long histories that we can look back at and remember some of the great seasons we saw. In 1999, baseball created the Hank Aaron Award, to be awarded to the best hitter in each league. In fact, the award was likely created specifically to allow for the possibility of a pitcher being worthy of an MVP award. You know when you started hearing about the Hank Aaron Award even existing? This year, when people wanted to justify voting for Verlander for MVP. Hank Aaron was a tremendous hitter, but the award is essentially meaningless if nobody knows who's winning them.

    Additionally, the Hank Aaron Award incorporates a fan vote component, which makes the award intrinsically flawed. Fans are stupid. Unsurprisingly, the AL award has gone to AL East hitters every year since 2004. And by the way, Hank Aaron spent all of two seasons playing in the American League, hitting .232 with 22 HR and 95 RBI in 222 games. If you're going to perpetuate this farce, you should at least have another name for it in the American League. Babe Ruth, anyone?

    But I think the greater argument here is that, quite simply, a pitcher can't come close to the overall impact of a position player, and that includes starting pitchers as well as relievers.

    First, let's address the one stat that gets cited often to compare pitchers to hitters: wins above replacement (WAR). The theory behind the statistic is that, over the course of a season, by playing well (or poorly), a player at any position gives his team an adjusted chance at victory when compared to a potential replacement player. The statistic uses a theoretical AAA player as the replacement. The concept of trying to value hitters against pitchers is useful for GMs in salary-planning, and for those MVP votes in which a pitcher earns consideration.

    Two issues, though. First, the use of a single statistic to determine value between a starting pitcher and a hitter is always going to have flaws, simply because the roles are so incredibly different. Second, it's apparent that baseball writers are not acknowledging WAR as a make-or-break statistic with regards to MVP votes. Matt Kemp posted a WAR of 10.0 in 2011, the highest since Barry Bonds in 2004. That span includes three different MVP seasons by Albert Pujols. I'm willing to cede that the actual NL MVP, Ryan Braun, has his own viable portfolio, but you'd think that, if we're referring to WAR at all, a guy who has a WAR that's 30% higher than the next closest player would be a shoo-in for the MVP.

    (As a reference, Verlander posted an 8.6 WAR; Jose Bautista posted an 8.5.)

    We're all quick to admit that wins are one of the most of the most team-dependent statistics on the planet. But if Verlander had, say, 20 wins, rather than his major-league best 24, would this have even been close? (If you're unsure, look at Cliff Lee's 22-3 2008 season, and the fact that he finished 12th in the MVP voting after a season with a similar lack of a front-runner. Or look over at the NL, where Clayton Kershaw posted very similar numbers to Verlander this season, yet also finished 12th in his league's MVP voting). You're wondering if Detroit was that good? They rated third in the majors in batting average, fourth in runs, fourth in on-base, fourth in slugging. They could put up runs with anybody.

    So maybe Verlander gets an anecdotal bump in his resume as a result of his no-hitter in early May; it certainly put Verlander front and center. The relative difference in the impact of an everyday player versus a starting pitcher is similarly anecdotal. Obviously starting pitchers have impacts beyond their innings (saving the bullpen, etc). And obviously hitters have impacts beyond their own at-bats (base-running, "protection" for other hitters, etc.). But I think we've got one more piece of the puzzle that pushes starting pitchers out of the discussion: weather.

    If there's a rainout, or even more so if a game is postponed, a starting pitcher's rhythm is off, and he likely doesn't come back in the subsequent game. We saw it in the playoffs this year; weather pushed both Verlander and CC Sabathia out of Game 1 after 1.5 IP and limited them each to one full start in a five-game series. Meanwhile, in the same series, Robinson Cano hit .318 and drove in 9 runs, and Delmon Young hit .316 with three home runs. The fact that an act of nature can almost completely negate the potential positive contributions by a starting pitcher for a game, and the fact that they only pitch in 35 games every year, is the last piece of evidence I need.

    In the end, I think that a Most Valuable Player in baseball should be the epitome of a baseball player. To me, baseball is defined by the 162 game season, by far the longest in American team sports. It's a grind, and a guy who's able to get up ~150 times and compete at a tremendous level, that's the guy who's the best baseball player. A guy who has to perform 35 times a year, no matter how impressive he is during those 35 times, just doesn't capture the essence of baseball.

    Thursday, November 10, 2011

    The Penn State Sexual Abuse Scandal

    I'm probably going to piss off a lot of people with this post, and alienate other people, and maybe get through to a couple as well. But I'm too upset with what I hear from too many people to not talk about this.

    By now, most people know the testimony. Former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky is accused of molesting eight different young boys over a 15-year period. Head coach Joe Paterno comes into the picture in 2002, when graduate assistant Mike McQueary observed Sandusky doing something to a young boy in a locker room shower (his grand jury testimony says sodomy, the testimony by Penn State higher-ups says McQueary reported a more vague level of fondling or other sexual contact; either way, up to no good). McQueary spoke to his father, who told him to speak to Paterno, and things went up the ladder, where a decision was made to bar Sandusky from bringing children to the campus.

    How many people here are morally culpable? Probably everyone. But there's an order to things, and Paterno is not at the top of the list. How would I sort the villainy? Well, starting here:

    Sandusky
    Sandusky
    Sandusky
    Sandusky
    Sandusky

    Let's not lose sight of the actual situation. Jerry Sandusky is a sick and deplorable human being. He's far and away the villain here, since, you know, he was the guy who was actually raping children. Everyone else who's at fault (and there are plenty) would've never been put in a position to disappoint if Sandusky just wasn't a monster.

    Mike McQueary

    McQueary actually witnessed Sandusky in the act of committing one of these crimes, and what did he do? He called his dad and asked him what to do, then called Paterno the next day. McQueary was 28 at the time of the incident. He was a grown-ass man who saw another man raping a child, and did nothing. I can maybe understand being scared; it's an inconceivable thing to see, and in seeing it, you have to think that the perpetrator is capable of anything. So maybe you're too frightened to confront the guy alone. But come on. I'm sure other people were in the building; get a mob together if you're scared. And if nothing else, you call the cops.

    The report said that both Sandusky and the victim made eye contact with McQueary at the time of the incident. So that kid saw an adult come across him being assaulted, and the adult walked away, and left him with his assailant. If we're making a list of things that will do severe psychological damage to a child, that's got to be on that list somewhere.

    University President Graham Spanier
    University Vice President Gary Schultz

    Athletic Director Tim Curley

    Curley was the person to whom Paterno reported what he heard from McQueary. Curley, along with Schultz, are the two people held legally responsible for their failure to report this incident to law enforcement authorities. They also both face perjury charges for what is believed to be dishonest or incomplete testimony to the grand jury.

    Additionally, some combination of these three individuals came up with the response plan for Sandusky's assault, which was to take away his locker room keys and ban him from bringing children onto campus. ESPN's Jay Bilas addressed the toothlessness of this "punishment" perfectly by interpreting the message from Spanier as essentially saying, "Just don't do it here." It indicates an utter disregard for morality, and a complete focus on preserving university image. It's complicit, and disgusting.

    Centre County District Attorney Ray Gricar

    This excerpt is from an ESPN article available here:
    Victim 6 is taken into the locker rooms and showers when he is 11 years old. When Victim 6 is dropped off at home, his hair is wet from showering with Sandusky. His mother reports the incident to the university police, who investigate.

    Detective Ronald Schreffler testifies that he and State College Police Department Detective Ralph Ralston, with the consent of the mother of Victim 6, eavesdrop on two conversations the mother of Victim 6 has with Sandusky. Sandusky says he has showered with other boys and Victim 6's mother tries to make Sandusky promise never to shower with a boy again but he will not. At the end of the second conversation, after Sandusky is told he cannot see Victim 6 anymore, Schreffler testifies Sandusky says, "I understand. I was wrong. I wish I could get forgiveness. I know I won't get it from you. I wish I were dead."

    Jerry Lauro, an investigator with the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare, testifies he and Schreffler interviewed Sandusky, and that Sandusky admits showering naked with Victim 6, admits to hugging Victim 6 while in the shower and admits that it was wrong.

    The case is closed after then-Centre County District Attorney Ray Gricar decides there will be no criminal charge.

    Nice work, counselor. Way to serve and protect.

    Head Coach Joe Paterno

    Paterno is the face of Penn State, and there's no denying that this happened on his watch. There's also no denying that Paterno was aware of something involving Sandusky; he has admitted as much, and said that he wishes he had done more, in hindsight.

    We don't know what Paterno really knew. We know his testimony indicated that he was aware of an incident occurring between Sandusky and a child, and others' testimony corroborates that. We also know that he didn't hear about the incident from McQueary until the day after the event, and he was undoubtedly aware that McQueary apparently didn't think enough of the incident to contact the police at all. What we know now about Sandusky's continued harassment makes the choice obvious, but given the limited information regarding this one incident, and the question marks about the words McQueary actually used to describe the incident, and the fact that Paterno had known Sandusky for thirty-odd years, it's not cut and dry.

    Consider your own job. Imagine a subordinate (we're talking about your job, because I have no subordinates to imagine) reported to you that another employee was engaged in a sexually inappropriate act with a child. Your main responsibility is to put that subordinate in touch with the appropriate person at your organization, or if you are the appropriate person, to get in touch with the authorities. After connecting the relevant parties, it's not your business anymore.

    Paterno got Curley involved. Curley conducted his investigation (however much of a sham it might have been), came to his conclusions (however blind), and implemented his resolution (however insufficient). We don't know what Paterno was told about this process. It's not inconceivable that he was lied to by Curley and Schultz about the investigation, since those two are already suspected of lying to the grand jury.

    Jemele Hill wrote a piece for ESPN (applauding Penn State for firing Paterno) that includes the following paragraph:
    "For those who continue to cling to the notion that because Paterno fulfilled his legal obligation, he should be allowed to finish this season on his own terms, I pose this question: If that 10-year-old in the showers with Sandusky was your brother, cousin, nephew, friend or neighbor, would you be satisfied with how Paterno handled the situation?"
    First, I think we can all agree that if it was your brother, you would want Penn State University brought to the ground. Not metaphorically; literally leveled with dynamite and wrecking balls. And you wouldn't care who was inside. You would just want someone to pay, and the more people who pay, the better. So let's try to appreciate that adding that level of emotion isn't going to result in reasoned discourse.

    Second, flip the switch. What if Sandusky was your brother? Your cousin? Your friend? Wouldn't you look for ways, consciously or subconsciously, to convince yourself that the worst isn't true? Wouldn't you want to get your hands off the situation and put it in the hands of people whose responsibility it was to handle these kinds of situations?

    American media, particularly sports media, tends to try to look at everything in a vacuum. One of my favorite shows, PTI, consistently asks un-nuanced all-or-nothing questions of its hosts. And maybe the best part of PTI is that Michael Wilbon and especially Tony Kornheiser offer decidedly measured and broad-scope responses to these questions. Taking the whole picture into account shouldn't be so rare.

    But as I peruse through Facebook messages, and Twitter posts, and the comments attached to the various articles regarding this horrific story, I find very little in the way of thoughtful discussion. What's more troublesome is that I also haven't found much among those people who are paid to be insightful, like ESPN's Hall.

    Another couple quotes from Hall's article:

    "There have been 40 counts of felony sex abuse of minors levied against former Paterno assistant Jerry Sandusky, and though I am sickened by what Sandusky is accused of, our judicial system presumes his innocence until he is proved guilty.

    But we're free to judge Paterno outside the constricts of the law. A lengthy indictment spells out what he did (or, more disturbing, what he failed to do) and what he knew."

    "If Sandusky is proved guilty, he is obviously the worst monster in this sordid horror story. But it isn't a stretch to suggest that Paterno played the role of Dr. Frankenstein. He didn't create the monster, but if Sandusky is guilty, then Paterno is at least partially responsible for the tragedies of every one of the victims assaulted after that unidentified boy in the shower."

    Throughout the article, Hall acknowledges that Sandusky's guilt is yet to be determined, and she consistently uses terms like "accused of" and "alleged." Paterno receives the benefit of no such doubt.

    My last point here is in response to Hall's last point, and a point that is going to echo in the voice of every sportscaster on the planet, and I'm going to be angry about it every time. She declares that Penn State was courageous for ousting Joe Paterno. Her claim is that today's world sees football coaches as the "final authority" for high profile schools, and it's important that the Penn State board of trustees exercise their authority here.

    My final response to that is my own post on a friend's comment on Facebook from last night:
    "Everyone's mad. But Paterno leaving the school isn't going to make anyone less angry or hurt or disgusted or shocked. His departure is a front page story for a couple days, then PSU gets to shrink away while other tragedies (and other sports stories) overtake it, and the general public will forget and move on. But a lot of good people who rely on Penn State football for a thousand different reasons are going to suffer. What Sandusky did was damnable and shameful. What's happening to Paterno is just a damn shame."

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