Is He A Keeper? - NL Central, 2010

Chicago Cubs

No-brainers

• Derrek Lee, 1B
  

Keepers

• Aramis Ramirez, 3B - Last year aside, Ramirez had become one of the more reliable power hitters in the NL. He's only 31, so there's no reason to think he'll fall off.
• Alfonso Soriano, OF - I don't love the idea of keeping him, but his upside is .280 with 30 HR and 20 SB, which he is exactly one year removed from.
• Carlos Zambrano, SP - Big Z is still only 29, still posts about a strikeout per inning, and had five straight seasons of 14 wins before last year's 9-7 record.
  

Non-keepers

• Ryan Dempster, SP - Honestly, Dempster played better than I expected in 2009, but he still had a (predictable) let-down after his 2008 career year.
  
• Ted Lilly, SP - I wish I could say yes, because it'd be funny with how often he gets overlooked in our drafts, but I just can't. A career 4.25 ERA makes Lilly just another pitcher.
• Carlos Marmol, RP - He's got some legitimate ability, but he has the capacity to put way too many guys on base. If he were a starter, it might be worth the risk, but you can find cheap saves.
  
• Geovany Soto, C - A bounce-back isn't out of the question, but if he doesn't bounce back, he makes your team a lot worse.
  
• Ryan Theriot, 2B/SS - Multiple position eligibility does not a keeper make.
• Randy Wells, SP - Wells had a nice season, but an unimpressive strikeout rate and the fact that he's got zero track record means you can't invest a keeper slot in him.
  

Cincinnati Reds

No-brainers

• Brandon Phillips, 2B
  
• Joey Votto, 1B
  

Keepers
(none)

Non-keepers

• Bronson Arroyo, SP - No?
  
• Jay Bruce, OF - Bruce is looking eerily similar to Adam Dunn, except without the big power and with an even worse batting average. You've got to see more before you can justify keeping him.
• Francisco Cordero, RP - He's been a solid producer of saves and relief Ks for years, but you generally pay a price in WHIP. Don't pay that price with a keeper.
  
• Johnny Cueto, SP - He's still only 24, so he's still developing as a pitcher. But let him develop as your 12th or 13th player, not as one of your top eight.
  
• Aaron Harang, SP - It doesn't look like he'll ever recapture his 2007 near Cy Young performance, which is a shame for a guy with one of the all time great nicknames.
• Edinson Volquez, SP - Tommy John, won't be back until after the All-Star break. Keep an eye on him, though.
  

Houston Astros

No-brainers

• Carlos Lee, OF
  

Keepers

• Lance Berkman, 1B - One of the closest calls in this whole exercise, but I still have faith. Besides, he's hit .310 in every other year for the past six years, and he's due for another .310 season.
  
• Michael Bourn, OF - I hate to say it, because Joe Mandi will call me a liar, but 60 SB is no joke. If he can approach .300 and get 100 R, he's a keeper, despite his utter lack of pop.
  
• Roy Oswalt, SP - I just don't believe he's done. I expect a return to form, with a WHIP around 1.20 and 16-18 wins.
  
• Hunter Pence, OF - His upside goes beyond Carlos Lee, but so does his downside, hence him not being a no-brainer. But their values are pretty close.
• Wandy Rodriguez, SP - First off, I don't like Wandy. But all of his numbers are headed in the right direction: ERA, WHIP, K/9, BAA. He's got to be doing something right.
  

Non-keepers

• All Relievers - Nobody knows who's going to end up closing in Houston, but regardless of who it is, they're not worth keeping.
  

Milwaukee Brewers

No-brainers

• Ryan Braun, OF
• Prince Fielder, 1B
  

Keepers

• Yovani Gallardo, SP - You'd like to see more dominant stats out of Gallardo, but they'll come. His talent is too big to disappoint.

Non-keepers

• Corey Hart, OF - Hart still has the capacity to be a power-speed combo guy who can fill out your roster, but until he starts making good, consistent contact, that's all he can be.
• Trevor Hoffman, RP - He's an all-time great, maybe the best closer of all time. But you can't keep a closer unless he's been great AND you can expect him to be great again. At 42, you just can't expect that out of Hoffman.
  
• Casey McGehee, 2B/3B - He's a compelling guy in a lot of ways, but the presence of Rickie Weeks and Mat Gamel throws McGehee's playing time into question.
• Randy Wolf, SP - At 33, Wolf turned in one of the best years of his career. Don't expect him to do it again at 34.
  

Pittsburgh Pirates

No-brainers
(none)

Keepers

• Andrew McCutcheon, OF - After being the Pirates' best prospect for McCutcheon has arrived. Look for more steals, about the same power.
  

Non-keepers

• Ryan Doumit, C - He was in a position last year to get himself onto a keeper list, but injuries and ineffectiveness quelled that. Still, don't you (bum bum bum bum bum bum) forget about him.
  
• Garrett Jones, OF - This isn't to say that Jones couldn't help your team. I just have a hard time saying that he'll help your team any more than twenty other guys who can hit .290 with 25 HR.

St. Louis Cardinals

No-brainers

• Matt Holliday, OF
  
• Albert Pujols, 1B
• Adam Wainwright, SP
  

Keepers

• Chris Carpenter, SP - He's had a litany of injuries over his career, but when healthy, he's a top ten starting pitcher. Just pray for that.
  

Non-keepers

• Ryan Franklin, RP - Franklin was a saves machine last year, but ever since Danny Kolb, I've become wary of closers who don't strike people out...or who become closers for the first time at age 36.
  
• Ryan Ludwick, OF - I know I told you to keep him last year, and I'll take the blame for that one. This looks like Pat Burrell 1.1.
• Colby Rasmus, OF - He's got better batting average potential than Jay Bruce, but less power potential. Either way, he hasn't shown enough to keep him yet.
  

Is He A Keeper? - NL East, 2010

Atlanta Braves

No-brainers
(none)

Keepers

• Tommy Hanson, SP - He was an elite prospect, and he produced like one. There's always the concern of a sophomore slump, but Tim Lincecum proved that you can just win a Cy Young instead.
• Brian McCann, C - He's not flashy, but he's productive and consistent. Let's just hope he doesn't catch whatever Russell Martin had last year.
  

Non-keepers

• Matt Diaz, OF - If playing time were assured, this decision would be much more difficult.
  
• Tim Hudson, SP - Age and health have him headed in the wrong direction. Don't even think about it.
  
• Chipper Jones, 3B - Apparently age 37 is when Chipper finally hit a wall. A small bounce-back is possible, but you can't keep him.
• Jair Jurrjens, SP - He had great ratios last year, but so did Randy Wolf, with the same strikeout rate. It's close, but for now, he's on the outside.
  
• Nate McLouth, OF - He's a 20/20 threat, but on a Braves team without any real offensive lynchpin, you can't count on run production.
  

Florida Marlins

No-brainers

• Hanley Ramirez, SS
  

Keepers

• Josh Johnson, SP - He finally put together the kind of season we were all expecting after his breakthrough 2006 performance. Expect more of the same.
  

Non-keepers

• Emilio Bonifacio, SS/3B - One game into the 2009 season, Bonifacio was a superstar. Now, not so much.
  
• Jorge Cantu, 1B/3B - He's got RBIs and position flexibility, but he's not a plus in homers, speed, or average.
• Chris Coghlan, OF - I wish I could say yes, because he used to live in my house. But in the outfield, he's essentially David DeJesus.
  
• Dan Uggla, 2B - The one exception would be if you're assembling a team designed to punt batting average. On that team, Uggla is a star.
  

New York Mets

No-brainers

• Jason Bay, OF
  
• Jose Reyes, SS
  
• Johan Santana, SP
• David Wright, 3B
  

Keepers
(none)

Non-keepers

• Francisco Rodriguez, RP - You can foresee solid production, but K-Rod has just been a good closer the past two years, and you can't keep a closer who isn't great.
• Carlos Beltran, OF - He's supremely talented and a great contributor when healthy, but it's sounding more and more like he's going to miss extensive time.
  

Philadelphia Phillies

No-brainers

• Ryan Howard, 1B
  
• Chase Utley, 2B
  
• Roy Halladay, SP
  

Keepers

• Cole Hamels, SP - His 2009 was a step backwards, but I have faith in the talent.
  
• Jimmy Rollins, SS - His .250 average in 2009 seems an aberration, which means you can count on top 25 production again in '10.
• Shane Victorino, OF - Across the board solid performance, and the lineup is still going to be great.
• Jayson Werth, OF - Surprisingly close to a no-brainer, but since his explosion was fairly quiet, figured I ought to explain: 36 HR, 99 RBI, 98 R, 20 SB. Got it?
  

Non-keepers

• J.A. Happ, SP - I like everything about Happ except that he's very average in Citizens Bank Park. It's a tough park, but you can't bench a keeper for half of his starts.
  
• Raul Ibanez, OF - Had he not missed time, Ibanez would've likely finished with 100+ RBI for the fourth straight season. But I have trouble trusting a 37-year-old bopper, even in this lineup.
  

Washington Nationals

No-brainers

• Ryan Zimmerman, 3B
  

Keepers

• Adam Dunn, 1B - There's value in reliability, and Dunn has had at least 38 HR and 92 RBI in each of the past six seasons. Plus, you can partner him with Uggla if you're punting AVG and get 70 HR and 180 RBI from 1B and 2B (yes, Nick, I'm talking to you).
  

Non-keepers

• Stephen Strasburg, SP - Not yet.
  

Twenty for Thirty Update - 2/16

So it's been a month and a half, and I've converted two of the easier goals from my list:

2) Move out of my mom's house.

This was in the works before the list was even released, but it was still one of the things I wanted to do this year. Living at home has its perks, but getting out of my mom's house has far more perks. I'm hoping that, by getting out of the house and living much closer to my work, I can use this as a jumping off point for trying to lose weight (through complete diet control) and having a successful party.

18) Host a Joe and Joe trivia show.

As I had mentioned, this has been in the works for a while, so it was nice to finally get it done. You can listen here; the show is just under an hour, and I think it's one of our best shows yet at Joe and Joe Sports. In fact, one of the contestants, my cousin Michael, had such a fun time doing the show that he has taken it upon himself to arrange the next baseball trivia show. Success!

2009 Games of the Year

And so, as we bid farewell to another essentially worthless year, we look back on the video games that helped us pass the time between sleeps.

My 2009 Top 5 Games of the Year:

5. Saints Row 2

I don't often anticipate new games, and even less often do I actually purchase a game within the first month of its release. But I so deeply enjoyed the original Saints Row that I felt compelled to spring for the sequel immediately. The fact that Best Buy had it on sale for $40 for the first week tipped the scales, and I bought my only new game of the year.

It didn't disappoint. Saints Row 2 has a lot of the same game mechanics as the Grand Theft Auto series, but on a much less realistic level. From hairpin turns to flaming ATVs, it's a more fun and funny take on the sandbox style game. I enjoyed the game thoroughly, and while the best feature from the original Saints Row (insurance fraud) was sort of bastardized for this version of the game, everything else was improved. Good for number five on the list.

4. Plants vs. Zombies

In looking back at the year, I'm glad I was able to include a PC game. I spent a good amount of time playing Civilization II and Rollercoaster Tycoon, but neither of those qualifies as a "new" game for me; I've been playing them since high school.

My cousin Michael posted in his AIM profile a video from the game (this video, specifically), and I was intrigued. I did a little research, and the game turned out to be a tower defense game, where you plant plants to kill zombies. The premise is simple, the execution is fantastic. There are funny little parts like the descriptions of different zombies and plants, but it's also got a good deal of strategy involved. Between the Story mode, where you face off against progressively more challenging waves of zombies, and the Puzzle and Mini-Game modes, there's plenty of variety to keep you coming back for more.

I'm always happy when I can get a lot of play out of a $10 purchase, and PvZ made me happy.

3. Gears of War

No, not Gears of War 2. The original Gears of War. The first time I played this game, I played the first level on two-player with my brother, and I really didn't see what all the fuss was about. The controls felt clunky, the action seemed slow, and while the graphics were nice, they weren't enough to carry the game alone. So it got sent back to the minors, maintaining its rookie eligibility until this past year, when I called it back up to the show, this time just playing one-player.

The difference was night and day. While the first level was still kind of tough to get into, the game blossomed into a more action-oriented version of Metal Gear Solid, one of my favorite games of all time. The futuristic/alien component allowed the developers to create a variety of terrifying enemies, each requiring a different strategy. Some are small and fairly easy to dispatch, others are tough and require some caution. Then there's the occasional huge boss enemy with a minute weak point to exploit. And some enemies you just avoid, and focus on staying alive. The game really strikes a great balance between ass-kicking and discretion.

I haven't played the game online at all yet, mostly because I'm wary of getting waxed. I can enjoy myself while not being the best player in the game, but it's a bit tougher when you're the worst player in the game, and I find myself falling into that category more often than not. Still, I'll likely be giving the online component a shot at some point this year, because I really did enjoy the campaign. But I'm not holding out much hope for doing particularly well.

2. MLB Front Office Manager 2K9

When I first heard about MLB Front Office Manager 2K9, I had just finished reading Moneyball, and was completely in the mindset of how to create a baseball team. As such, I was in a perfect mental place to be an early adopter of the new (and hopefully long-lived) franchise. Chip and I used to play Madden 2005 and ignore the actual football games, just doing the team management part. I loved it, and I expected to love this game as well.

I remember buying the game at GameStop the day it came out. I asked the clerk to ring me up for it, and she said, "You know it got really terrible reviews, right?" I hadn't read any reviews, and had no intention of reading them or listening to them regardless. I was buying the game that day, and that was that. I brought it home, and so began a run with the Washington Nationals that continues today.

The game isn't without its flaws. Other teams seem to get fed up with their players at a frightening pace, and they'll cut players who are very early in very long and very large contracts. Just by watching the waiver wire and free agency, I picked up Scott Kazmir, Joba Chamberlain, Jonathan Papelbon, and Joakim Soria. Not exactly the kind of talent you'd normally find sitting around waiting for a phone call. Even though the system isn't perfect, though, the game is just fun to play. And as you may remember from my description of Gears of War, I love finding and exploiting weaknesses in my opponents. And as you may remember from my other blog, I love baseball.

1. Dead Rising

I had thought about purchasing Dead Rising on several different occasions, but had trouble bringing myself to lay the money down. I finally downloaded a demo, and played it briefly (maybe five minutes?) before deciding to purchase the game. Cousin Michael was there. For all the time it took me to decide on the purchase, it was one I'm very glad I made.

The game plays sort of like a Grand Theft Auto clone, with a third-person view and relative freedom within the game's setting (a small town shopping mall). By the game's title, you can guess what's going on in the mall: zombies. It's your job to, well, actually, all you have to do to complete the game is survive for three days. You can ignore everything else, stay in the safe room, and receive an ending after 20-30 hours of gameplay, but that's not fun at all. Besides, there's a mystery to solve: where did these zombies come from? Also, there are folks to find and rescue all throughout the mall, and if a hero like you doesn't do it, no one else will.

The most fun part of the game for me, though, is the way it handles new games. Say you get to a point in the game that you just can't beat ("the convicts" is often a trouble spot). In most games, you'd have to re-load an old game, or start over from scratch. In Dead Rising, you can start a new game, but keep your character's level progression (which means keeping your expanded health bar, physical strength boosts, inventory space, and special moves). So even if you get stuck, you can restart your game and have gotten something out of your previous efforts. I like that.

Also the zombie-killing is fun, and there's something gratifying about saving dozens of innocent folks from certain doom. The sequel is supposed to come out in 2010, and it may be one of those rare games that I purchase new. We shall see.

Oh, and fuck Valentine's Day.

Games of the Year - 2009 Eligible Games

I don't play games new. I just don't find myself willing to shell out $60 to play something right when it's released, when inevitably I'll be able to purchase it for $40 (or less) in a year or so. Technology doesn't move so fast that 2008 Xbox 360 games are useless in 2009.

In the spirit of my cheapskate nature, I've come up with my own way to mention the best games of last year. Certainly I'm in no position to evaluate the best new games in 2009, but there were many games new to me in 2009 that I enjoyed to varying degrees. So, I'd like to list out the games that used up their "rookie" eligibility during the 2009 calendar year, sorted by system:

Xbox 360
Army of Two
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Crackdown
Dead Rising
Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion
Gears of War
Guitar Hero III
Halo 3
Lego Indiana Jones
MLB Front Office Manager 2K9
NBA Street: Homecourt
NHL '09
Saints Row 2

PC
Plants vs. Zombies

PS2
Gran Turismo 4

I will post my Top 5 Games of the Year for 2009 on February 14th, because fuck Valentine's Day.

League of Legends

A few months back, I mentioned that a game called League of Legends had just been released. It's a free-to-play PC game that combines the interface of a real-time strategy (like Warcraft III) with the gameplay of a shooter (like Halo 3). It's an objective-based game between two teams of 1-5 "champions" each. Each side has a computer-controlled team that sends waves of foot soldiers towards the enemy base through three lanes. The champions disperse into lanes and try to push through the opposing soldiers and champions, through multiple fortifications, to destroy the enemy base.

At the beginning of each game, each player, or "summoner," selects one champion, and each champion has its own distinct abilities and characteristics. Some are ranged, others are melee. Some champions are sturdy, others are frail. Some are designed for sieging towers, or sneaking up on enemy champions, or healing and augmenting allies. There's a champion for just about every gamer's attitude. There are 40+ champions, but only 10 are free to use at any given time (more on this later).

You gain experience and gold from defeating soldiers, champions, and defense towers. Experience goes towards gaining levels, which unlock more skills and increase your champion's health. Gold can be used to purchase equipment to make your champion even more powerful. Towards the end of a game, most champions can cut through an entire wave of soldiers without much difficulty.

Each game starts with your champion at level one. However, your summoner (that is, you) gains experience as well with each game you play. As your summoner gains levels (levels that endure from game to game), you earn small bonuses that apply to any champion you use. Additionally, with each game you play, you earn "influence points" (IP for short). IP can be used to purchase runes, additional boosts that again apply to any champion. You can also use IP to permanently unlock champions, adding them to the rotating group of 10 champions that are available for free. It's generally worth the investment of a few hundred IP (you earn 50-300 IP per game) to find a character you can get comfortable using and can use anytime.

You do also have the option of paying real money for Riot Points, which can be exchanged for champions, alternate champion skins, and temporary boosts to your summoner's XP or IP gains from playing. In my experience, though, the game is plenty fun without spending any real money, and you'll want to try out many of the different champions anyways to find out who you like. The rotating free champion system is the perfect mechanism to make this happen.

The game isn't perfect. The matchmaking system still seems to pit me (an average player) against elite players with too much regularity, but that's better than not pitting me against anyone at all, so I'll tolerate the occasional beat down. Plain and simple, it's a fun game that lends itself perfectly to teamwork and trash-talking, two things that you simply must have when you play a game with friends.

Interested? Go here to create your free account!

The Price You Pay...

Well, now we know what the cost was going to be of me getting all four games right two weekends ago: the comedy of errors that the Vikings put on yesterday. If you had told me that the Vikings would hold the Saints to 257 total yards and put up 475 total yards of offense themselves, I'd have thought there was no way that Minnesota wouldn't be in the Super Bowl. Well, except for the fact that I know you like to see me in pain.

Before the game, the Fox NFL crew made picks regarding the game, and someone (Bradshaw maybe?) said that he thought the Vikings had the better team, but picked the Saints to win because of "fate." I mentioned to a friend and fellow Vikings fan that I thought that was a pretty flimsy reason to pick a team, but it certainly seemed like things were stacked against the Vikings, a sentiment that came to a culmination on the Saints' overtime drive, the only possession of the overtime period (don't get me started).

The Saints earned their way to midfield on a great kickoff return and a holding penalty on Minnesota. After incompletions on first and second down, Drew Brees found Devery Henderson for a nine yard gain. The spot of the ball didn't seem to be in question by anyone, but the review officials called for another look, presumably to see if they could find a way to give the Saints a first down. They couldn't. On fourth and one, Pierre Thomas lunged over the pile and appeared to be right at the first down marker. I know I was watching the game with purple and yellow blinders on, but on review, it seemed that he was stopped short.

On the next play, Ben Leber was called for a phantom pass interference penalty because the Saints receiver fell over backpeddling to try to find an uncatchable ball. It was literally the worst pass interference call I've seen all season. But the Vikings weren't done. Leber came back on the next play and stuffed Reggie Bush for a five yard loss, pushing the Saints to what would be a 51-yard field goal attempt. On third and fifteen, Brees found Robert Meachem for a 12-yard gain, but upon review, the ball appeared to bounce up off the turf, suggesting that he may not have had complete possession of the football. While it was a difficult call, the right call was to acknowledge that when the ball bounces up, the receiver hasn't got control of it. New Orleans kicker Garrett Hartley hit a pedestrian 40-yard field goal to win the game, and leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

But realistically, the Vikings didn't earn the victory any more than the Saints did. While the Vikings' defense did a fantastic job in stifling one of the most potent offenses in football, the offense put the ball on the turf SIX TIMES, losing three of those fumbles, and they couldn't have lost them in worst spots. Twice they fumbled inside the Saints' 10-yard line, and Percy Harvin's fourth quarter fumble gave the Saints the ball on the Vikings' 7-yard line, and led to a Saints' score.

By the way, the box score will tell you that Brett Favre fumbled the ball once, but that fumble should be attributed to Adrian Peterson, whose arms seemed to refuse the ball at the Saints' 4-yard line. Overall, Favre had a good game, and it's a shame that he'll be remembered for the one big mistake pass at the end of regulation that was intercepted, rather than the great plays he made all game, and all season, to give the Vikings a chance to go to the Super Bowl.

Hope he's back next year. And somebody call Tom Coughlin, get him to help Peterson like he did Tiki Barber. Shit, fire Brad Childress and hire him, maybe he wouldn't send twelve guys into the huddle off of a timeout to push your team out of field goal range.

Quick Predicks

Apologies for not having a radio show this week, but since I was so successful last week, I figured I'd better at least throw some predictions up here, to let the world correct itself. I'd hate to have the world balance out by me getting canned or breaking my arm or something.

Jets at Colts

The Jets were considerable underdogs each of the first two weeks of the playoffs, and they pulled out a couple of nail-biter victories. This week, they're again facing a tall order, going into Indianapolis to face the #1 seed in the AFC. I have a hard time seeing New York being the team to stop the Colts, but I had a hard time seeing them beating the Chargers, too.

I think the difference here is that the Colts have Matt Stover, a kicker who thrived on being counted upon for years in Baltimore. Shayne Graham and Nate Kaeding were both good kickers on teams that historically have put up a ton of points. Stover had to kick for that classic Ravens team with the great defense and an anemic offense. He's capable of making kicks when points are hard to come by. I think it'll be closer than the 8.5 point spread I'm seeing, but I do think the Colts will pull it out.

Prediction: Colts 20, Jets 15

Vikings at Saints

In the interest of full disclosure, I will remind all of you that the Vikings are my second favorite NFL team (behind the lowly Redskins). That said, I still think it's reasonable to expect Minnesota to win this game. I know that Percy Harvin is still uncertain for the game today (though it's looking more and more like he will be able to play), but even if he doesn't, the Vikings still have plenty of weapons on offense, just like the Saints.

But you can't say the same about the Saints' defense that you can about the Vikings. Minnesota's front four might be...check that, is the most prolific in football. Kevin Williams and Pat Williams are so adept at stuffing the run that Leslie Frazier's linebackers can be used to fill in other gaps. And Jared Allen, while one of the most costly acquisitions in NFL history, has proven to be worth everything the Vikings gave up to get him. It's still not easy to root for longtime Packer Brett Favre, but as long as he's wearing purple, I'll forgive him his past transgressions.

Prediction: Vikings 30, Saints 22

Perfection?

Jim Caldwell's got nothing on me. Check our radio show from last week if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Little Things...

Little things appreciated today:

• The functional difference between getting six hours of sleep and getting seven hours of sleep.
• Getting the exactly perfect temperature from the water faucet in the restroom.
• Amazon's product-browsing interface.
• Chris Reed's attitude towards drinking.
• The difference in spill-ability between a Styrofoam cup and a ceramic mug.
  

Relax, Tony Dungy. Not EVERYONE is a racist.

Tony Dungy thought it necessary earlier this week to lament the process through which this offseason's coaching vacancies have been filled. His specific qualm was with the faux interviews he believed were conducted with Jerry Gray (by the Redskins) and Leslie Frazier (by the Seahawks). Dungy's argument is that both positions were, for all intents and purposes, already filled by Mike Shanahan and Pete Carroll, respectively.

Dungy's quote:

“That is not what the Rooney Rule is supposed to be, (that) you make up your mind and then interview a candidate for it anyway just to satisfy the rule.”

I understand what he means by this. Dungy means that the "Rooney Rule" was instituted with the intention of getting more teams to interview and subsequently hire black head coaches (technically the rule is "minority" head coaches, but I haven't seen many Asian-Americans arguing about their under-representation among NFL coaches). And there's validity in both the intention and the execution. Football has long been perceived as having an "old boys" network, where the same coaches were re-hashed through several teams without opening the door to new candidates, a system that puts minority coaches at a distinct disadvantage. Forcing teams to interview minority candidates means you're forcing the door open, and any industry benefits from expanding its pool of potential employees.

But the situations in Washington and Seattle are exactly what the Rooney Rule demands. The Rooney Rule was never meant to force owners to hire minority candidates, nor to force owners to hire anyone other than who they thought was the best man for the job (let's not go into the concept of lady coaches). The idea is to simply push forward the names of legitimate, viable minority candidates, so that they're considered with their non-minority peers. The rule ensures that guys like Gray, Frazier, and Perry Fewell get the same chances as guys like Jim Haslett, Jim Fassell, and Marty Mornhinweg.

And let's not so quickly dismiss the progress that the NFL has made in this regard. Just in the past two years, four African-American head coaches have been hired, with relative success: Mike Tomlin, Jim Caldwell, Mike Singletary, and Raheem Morris. And those of you who've been paying attention to my subtleties have probably noticed that I like what Perry Fewell was able to do with a bad situation in Buffalo. I wouldn't be surprised at all if Fewell were awarded a head coaching gig in the next three years.

I'm not saying that Tony Dungy is completely without basis for calling on the NFL to keep a watchful eye on teams' compliance with this rule. But calling out teams that follow the letter of the law is irresponsible, and borders on slander. It's the right of every owner to hire whoever they think is the best coach. Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder has been friends with Mike Shanahan for a decade. Do we really think that any other candidate, minority or otherwise, stood a chance? If John Fox would've been given only a sham interview, why are we mad that Jerry Gray got the same treatment? It's all about getting in the door.

I was never crazy about the Rooney Rule for various reasons (mostly because it's named after the Steelers' owner, and I loathe the Steelers). I don't like the idea of the league directing a team's coaching search. But even in the most unfavorable situations, it does what it's intended to do, which is get interviews for minority candidates. With how well so many teams have done with minority head coaches (Caldwell, Tomlin, and Lovie Smith to name a few), I'd say the proof is in the pudding for anyone slow to embrace the rule. Teams unwilling to open their doors to the best possible candidate will be left behind with lesser coaches, poorer records, and disgruntled fans.

As my good friend Derek likes to say, "The market will take care of it."

From Dannyville to Shannyville?

First off, I had been hoping that Jon Gruden would be the next head coach for the Washington Redskins. I like Gruden's fire, and from listening to his commentary on Monday Night Football this season, I like his coaching mentality. He seems to have the ability to analyze problems logically, but also the mindset to challenge his guys to go out there and just get it done.

That being said, I found Mike Shanahan's introductory press conference refreshing and exciting. He's got a swagger and a comfort level that we haven't seen since Marty Schottenheimer (Joe Gibbs 2.0 lacked something, not sure what). Within seconds of Shanahan starting his statement, I felt reassured that my favorite football team was in capable hands.

Another note that was mentioned in every article I read was that Daniel Snyder was not at the podium for this press conference, instead sitting in the audience, and not answering any questions or making any statements before leaving afterward. It's obvious that, at least from a public relations standpoint, and at least for now, Daniel Snyder is willing to take a back seat to the football professionals. Whether that endures remains to be seen, but this is already a change from standard procedure in this town, and we're all happy to see it.

Twenty for Thirty - The List

Alright, you may remember that a while ago, I talked about my plans for the 30th year of my life, and how I wanted to set some goddamn goals. Well, mission accomplished. On setting the goals, that is. I still have a long way to go before actually completing them.

I've grouped them based on some arbitrary headings, to help you (and more so myself) keep them organized.

Finances

1) Buy a car. (New, old, whatever, just purchase a vehicle to replace my current one)
2) Move out of my mom's house. (I'm actually fairly close to getting this one accomplished)
3) Make $500 doing something besides my job. (Switching jobs doesn't count)

Social Activities

4) Do something very embarrassing for other people's enjoyment, and laugh it off.
5) Host a party with 25+ people, 10+ girls. (This will probably be helped by the moving out)
6) Participate as a member of an organized sports team. (Coaching is acceptable)
7) Make a new friend.
8) Reconnect with an old friend.
9) Have a romantic kiss on New Year's Eve. (I've never done this; sad, right?)

Fitness

10) Weigh 250 pounds. (For those of you unfamiliar with me, that would constitute losing a lot of weight)
11) Bench press 200 pounds. (I don't know how much I can bench press now, but 200 seems enough to be a goal)
12) Go an entire week without drinking any caffeinated beverage. (We'll say Monday AM to Monday AM)

Creation

13) Design a board game or card game.
14) Complete a first draft of an entire book. (Because I've got the first chapter of nine different books written)
15) Make a movie. (I'm leaving this open to include a big movie, a series of episodes or webisodes, or something else I haven't thought of yet)
16) Write and record a song.
17) Record a CD with 10+ tracks. (Original content not required, but I could knock out two of the twenty if I were to write a song for it)
18) Host a Joe and Joe trivia show. (I've been trying to do this for years; it shouldn't be as hard as it's been to get it together)

Celebrity

19) Get mentioned in local news. (The medium is irrelevant; TV, newspaper, Internet, they're all fine)
20) Have a 60+ second conversation with a celebrity. (I'm not sure where I'll draw the line on celebrity, but I figure I'll know it if it happens)

Well, that's the list. If/when I accomplish any of the goals, don't worry, you'll hear about it.

Is He A Keeper 2.0 - The Method to Our Madness

We're going to start up our Is He A Keeper? segment again soon, but before we do, we wanted to explain how the formatting will change this time around. Instead of long articles about individual players, we're going to split things up by team, and post a separate article for each division. Each article will list the no-brainer keepers for each team, and then give you a blurb about any questionable guys, along with a verdict: keep him or kick him?.

As a reminder, our criteria for keepers follows the same logic as our super-competitive twelve-team league, where we keep eight players without limitations on tenure, position, etc. So our basic logic is, would we place this player in the top 90 or so options going forward?

2009 Redskins Report Card: Week 17 vs. San Diego Chargers

Chargers 23, Redskins 20

And like that, the Jim Zorn era comes to a close in Washington. I'll give ratings, but you know what happened. The Chargers played their starters for a less than quarter, and their second team beat the Redskins.

Instead, we'll spend this blog looking back on the past two years and how Washington lamented, then embraced, then skewered Zorn. I'll draw from Redskins Report Cards from 2008 and 2009 for content and context. Don't worry, links will be provided...URLs, not sausage links. But you're right, we should go to IHOP after this.

Offense: C-
Defense: C-
Special Teams: C
Overall: C-

2008, Week 1: Giants 16, Redskins 7
Report Card

Zorn's first game looked a lot like every other game the Redskins played under him as head coach. Decent defensive performance (with the classic Greg Blache bend-don't-break mentality), good kickoff returns, an offense that couldn't capitalize. You can blame a hundred people for the Redskins' difficulties over the past two years, but high on that list have to be Zorn, Jason Campbell, and the guys who put those two together (Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato). When you manage just 209 yards of total offense, don't expect to win. Like, ever.

2008, Week 2: Redskins 29, Saints 24
Report Card

The Redskins gained 455 yards of total offense, and allowed just 250, but they won by only five points. We probably should've known something was wrong.

2008, Week 6: Rams 19, Redskins 17
Report Card

Following back-to-back victories against the Cowboys and Eagles, the Redskins lost to the lowly St. Louis Rams, a team that would win one other game all season, and only three games total in Jim Zorn's coaching career. The victory over Philadelphia the week before had me thinking about a deep playoff run, but most Redskins fans will remember this as the loss that reaffirmed all of our negative instincts about this era. Correctly, I might add.

2008, Week 9: Steelers 23, Redskins 6
Report Card

This is where the Redskins were exposed, and they went 2-5 after this game to miss the playoffs and disappoint fans throughout Washington who had thought that maybe, just maybe, we had something to root for.

By the way, if you're a Washington sports fan and you don't yet like the Capitals, get your head together. They're one of the best teams in hockey, and with their young nucleus, it's going to be that way for a while. Get on the train now, so you can enjoy some good years. Between the Nationals, Wizards, and Redskins, the Caps are the only chance we've got for a while.

2008, Week 17: 49ers 27, Redskins 24
Report Card

The way you play when the games don't matter says something about the character of your team. Perry Fewell was as good as gone when he coached Buffalo's meaningless game on Sunday against the Colts, but he guided the team to a 30-7 victory. That says something to me. The Redskins' performance in meaningless end-of-season games, though? Not so hot.

2009, Week 2: Redskins 9, Rams 7
Report Card

In retrospect, how on Earth did I look at this game and see an eleven- or twelve-win team? The defense must've looked astoundingly good, because the offensive stats would suggest something more like, I don't know, a 4-12 team?

2009, Week 6: Chiefs 14, Redskins 6
Report Card

This game was the most eye-opening experience of the season for most 'Skins fans. This was the worst we'd ever seen our team play, and considering the Detroit loss earlier in the season, that's saying something.

It was also the week that I discovered Reby Sky. Yum.

2009, Week 13: Saints 33, Redskins 30 (OT)
Report Card

This game was named by Yahoo as the 6th greatest game of 2009, and I'm sure it was...for people in every other city. For the Redskins, it was a crushing defeat that was symptomatic of the entire Jim Zorn era. It's all one big tease that makes you think you've got something going on, but in reality, she's inevitably going home with that muscle-head wearing a silk button-down and no undershirt.

Bon Voyage

Listen, there's probably not a Redskins fan out there who's distraught over the firing of Jim Zorn. It wasn't even really news when it happened, just the culmination of a season's worth of rumors. Zorn didn't do himself any favors by running this team to a 4-12 record after not really losing any key pieces, and adding the $100 million man, Albert Haynesworth. While Haynesworth had his ups and downs this season, I still see him as a solid signing. The problem comes with the lack of depth you afford your team by tying up so much money in one player, and that was particularly apparent when Washington's offensive line started to go down.

The good news is that the potential of an uncapped year can be of great assistance to the Redskins. Many people see this as an opportunity for Daniel Snyder to attempt to "buy" a championship, but more logically, it's an opportunity to rid this team of the albatross contracts that pinch the team's cap flexibility. Clinton Portis and Antwaan Randle El (among others) have contracts worth well more than their actual contributions to the team. The opportunity to cut those players without taking the standard cap penalties should make new general manager and cap specialist Bruce Allen salivate. It's not often you get to undo your mistakes, and the Redskins must take advantage.

So ends another season of the Redskins Report Card. Let's try to enjoy watching other teams succeed, if we can. Hopefully my #2 team, the Vikings, can stifle the disappointment brought on by my #1.

When 14-1 Isn't Good Enough

There's been a good deal of debate this week regarding Indianapolis Colts head coach Jim Caldwell's election to bench his starters midway through Sunday's eventual loss to the New York Jets. This is a rare situation where I have a strong opinion about something like this, so I'm going to spout it: Caldwell was an idiot for pulling his guys.

I completely understand his logic about not wanting to risk an injury to one of his best players. Without Peyton Manning, Dwight Freeney, Dallas Clark, or Reggie Wayne, the Colts are probably still fighting for a playoff spot, and they'd be in bad shape in the playoffs if they lost any of those four to injury.

But they did play half of the game, right? Was that half of football intended to just be a scrimmage, trying to stay fresh without worrying about winning? I doubt it. Manning and the Colts were out there trying to win the game right up until the point they were pulled from the game. Everyone on the team has been saying the right things, which suggests that they buy into the coach's ideas on the matter, and that's great. They all think that the move will put them in the best possible position to win the Super Bowl, which Caldwell and GM Bill Polian have reiterated over and over as being the ultimate goal.

Do you know what Manning, Freeney, Clark, and Wayne all have in common, though? They've all already won a Super Bowl. Winning another one would be great, and solidify all of them as among the best at their positions in this generation of players. But the possibility of going 19-0 for a completely undefeated season, a season that would trump the '72 Miami Dolphins as the greatest NFL accomplishment of all time, should have overtaken the desire to "stay healthy."

It's so rare that anyone has an opportunity to be considered among the best all time at anything. The 2007-2008 Celtics went 66-16 and rolled through the playoffs, but people don't even consider them to have been among the top 3 Boston teams of all time. The Yankees only won 103 games in their 2009 World Series winning season, so they're just the best team this season, not a candidate for the best team ever.

Think back to the 2007 NFL season. It was capped off with a great Super Bowl, but a Super Bowl most memorable because it was the Patriots' chance to unseat history. When you remember that game, and that season, you'll remember that the Giants won the Super Bowl, but you'll remember it most because they beat the Patriots to preserve the '72 Dolphins' place in lore. The opportunity to be legendary is so rare that we'll remember vividly even those who came up short.

How dare Caldwell and Polian deprive this team of the opportunity for perfection. How dare they sacrifice history for a perceived improvement of their chances at winning a Super Bowl. For me, no matter how well this team does (and there's a reasonable chance that they win it all), I'll always wonder what might have been.

2009 Redskins Report Card: Week 16 vs. Dallas Cowboys

Cowboys 17, Redskins 0

It's too bad that the Redskins have to play a game in week 17, because this game seemed like a perfect bow to put on Jim Zorn's tenure in Washington. A horrific, grotesque bow.

Offense: D
Defense: C-
Special Teams: C+
Overall: D+

Getting shut out by the Cowboys is a tough pill to swallow, but particularly bitter when it's a home game. The Redskins' farthest drive in the game was their last, a 51-yard march that ended when Washington once again got into a bad down-and-distance situation, and couldn't convert. When you can't make big plays down the field, you have to get yourself into good situations through runs and short passes. When you can't extend drives, you have to go for home runs. When you can't do either, you're the Redskins.

I've often wondered how a team would fare if they had a great punter but little else. Turns out, they would get shut out by the Cowboys. Hunter Smith is a real asset on this team, with five of his eight punts putting Dallas inside their own 20 yard line. But field position only gets you so far, and Washington couldn't do anything with theirs.

About the only positive you can take away from this game is that it looks like the Cowboys have as little faith in Shawn Suisham as the Redskins did. Three times they elected to go for it rather than give Suisham a 47-52 yard field goal attempt. So at least one other team doesn't think much of the same kicker.

Next week pits the Redskins against the San Diego Chargers, who have absolutely nothing to play for, and who probably will be sitting half of their starters. I think Stan Humphries is slated to start at QB.

Around the League

• San Diego is playing as well as anybody in the NFL right now. If you've got money burning a hole in your pocket and you want to bet on someone to win the AFC, I think the smart money is on the Chargers.
• Hmm, the Patriots might be back. Uh oh.
• Has any team ever swung as hard as the Giants from last week's domination of the Redskins to this week's embarrassment against the Panthers?
• What the hell happened to the Saints?
• In a game with intense Mattingly fantasy football implications, the Ravens fell to the Steelers. A pair of running back fumbles were NOT appreciated.
• The Packers sure are peaking at the right time.
• I told you Cutler would be fine. Or if I didn't, I told other people, and they can attest to the fact that I said it.
  

2009 Redskins Report Card: Week 15 vs. New York Giants

Giants 45, Redskins 12

Oh no.

Offense: C-
Defense: D
Special Teams: D
Overall: D+

It would be fair to wonder how much the coaching/front office situation might have distracted the players this week. The hiring of Bruce Allen has led everyone in town to believe that Jim Zorn is 100% finished as the Redskins' head coach, and they're all probably correct. So it's not unreasonable to think that the resignation of Vinny Cerrato and the addition of Allen might've caused some players to lose focus.

But the cause for this awful performance was beyond just a lack of focus. The offensive line prevented the 'Skins from getting any sort of momentum, though I'm willing to attribute some of that to the Giants' elite front four. But outside of a 20-yard scamper by Marcus Mason, the running game was stifled. Jason Campbell wasn't ineffective at quarterback, but he was sacked five times and threw two interceptions, so it's not like the passing game offered much more.

When you give up 45 points, though, blame has to be directed at the defense. Eli Manning is generally overrated, in my book, but the Washington defense was all too happy to let him have open looks all night. You know I'm not crazy about passer rating as a statistic, but when you get up to 144.4, that's sort of beyond the "reasonable doubt" zone.

Ways to improve? I don't know. I feel like you just want to get through the end of the season without costing yourself anything for next season, injury-wise. So I'd limit the snaps of guys like Fred Davis, Devin Thomas, and honestly, Quinton Ganther. The young fella can play, and perhaps most importantly, he seems to have a nose for the end zone that nobody's had in this town since Terry Allen.

Around the League

• Despite the Colts' victory, Jack Del Rio finally forced Maurice Jones-Drew down the throat of his opponents, and the result was a competitive game against the best team in football. Maybe continue to employ your best player, Jackie boy?
• Can we finally put to rest the idea that Tony Romo turns to a pumpkin after December 1st?
• Jerome Harrison and Joshua Cribbs shredded the Chiefs like tissue paper. Like red and yellow tissue paper. Am I the only one who's not surprised that Mike Holmgren agreed to come to town after that showing?
  
• While the Bengals couldn't pull off a victory, they played a fantastic game against the Chargers. Chris Henry would've been proud.
• Was JaMarcus Russell the problem the whole time? Suddenly the Raiders are a tough spot on the schedule. The Raiders.
• It might just be me, but the way that the Ravens are playing, I'd hate to get matched up against them in the first round.
• I think the Golden Gophers and Vikings must've gotten on the wrong planes, because Minnesota looked like a college team against the Panthers.

Dallas next week. Here we go.

BCS Rantings and Ravings

I'm going to try to not go all the way off about the BCS and what a joke it is, because I've done that here, here, and here. Additionally, Dan Wetzel of Yahoo Sports did a great job of spelling out all of the different ways that colleges, fans, and teams could benefit from a playoff system in this article, posted a couple weeks ago. I'm just going to talk about this year, and the different games that led us to our current BCS bowl lineup. And, what the heck, make some picks too.

Rose Bowl
(8) Ohio State vs. (7) Oregon

This feels like the least nationally relevant Rose Bowl in a long time, but maybe that's just because USC was bad this year. "Bla bla, they still went 8-4 and beat Ohio State." Yeah, and they lost to Washington and Arizona. Don't argue with me; using USC's standards, they had a terrible year.

Anyways, this game seems to be Oregon's to lose. They're one of the hottest teams in college football, and their offense has posted 37+ points in six straight games. The coolest thing, though, is that at the end of the season, we might be able to look back at the Oregon/Boise State game in week one as a matchup of eventual top five teams. Makes me almost wish I had watched it...almost. It was 19-8, that doesn't look like the kind of score that I want to see.

Prediction: Oregon 34, Ohio State 17

Sugar Bowl
(5) Florida vs. (4) Cincinnati

This game probably spells the biggest trouble for defenders of the BCS. While TCU certainly has a valid gripe, Cincinnati is an undefeated team from a "power conference" (as long as the Big East gets an automatic BCS bid, you can't argue me on that). Like the 2005 Auburn team, Cincinnati has a chance to be an undefeated team from a BCS conference that never got a chance to play for the championship.

By the way, one of the clearest ways that you can tell that there's a problem with the BCS is that the team that loses the BCS title game doesn't finish the season ranked #2. If the title game is supposed to be between the #1 and #2 teams, doesn't that mean that the loser is the #2 team? Does anyone think that the Cardinals weren't the runner-up team in the NFL last season? Sigh, ridiculous.

It probably won't matter, though. Florida should beat Cincinnati and wrap up one of the great college careers of all time for Tim Tebow. I don't know how good he'll be in the NFL, but I definitely look forward to it.

Prediction: Florida 35, Cincinnati 25

Fiesta Bowl
(6) Boise State vs. (3) Texas Christian

Undefeated TCU takes on undefeated Boise State in what I am now calling the Joe Mattingly NCAA Championship game. Alabama and Texas can fight for the intercontinental title; this game is for the heavyweight belt. Because this game should be awesome.

TCU has one of the strongest running attacks in college football, with three different players averaging at least 50 yards rushing per game, plus 43 more yards per game from their quarterback. Oh, and said quarterback, Andy Dalton, has a ho-hum passer rating of 159.6.

Meanwhile, Broncos quarterback Kellen Moore has 39 touchdowns and only 3 interceptions this season, and they've scored 42+ in ten of their thirteen games. Did you catch that? Par for this team is six touchdowns. Their competition is a little suspect, but they beat currently 7th-ranked Oregon in their season-opener, so they're at least pretty good.

I have more faith in Boise State being able to close the deal, because they've been playing big teams in big games for a few years now. They know how to react to big game situations, whereas I could see TCU getting a little star-studded.

Prediction: Boise State 44, TCU 39

Orange Bowl
(10) Iowa vs. (9) Georgia Tech

In the "who gives a damn" BCS game, Iowa plays Georgia Tech.

Prediction: Iowa 24, Georgia Tech 22

BCS Championship Game
(2) Texas vs. (1) Alabama

It's hard not to look at this game and only think about the last game each of these two teams played. Alabama handled Florida with relative ease, and it took Texas three different bonehead plays by Nebraska to pull out the Big 12 title. Honestly, the Cornhuskers looked like the better team in that game. So how can I look at this game and see anything but a rout by the Crimson Tide?

Trick question; I can't. There's just so much talent on both sides of the ball for Alabama, and Texas' best player (Colt McCoy) seemed lost during the Big 12 championship game. Some of that can be attributed to playing against perhaps the most skilled player in the country, Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. But it's not like McCoy will be facing my Magruder High School Colonels in the BCS title game. They allowed the fewest points per game and second fewest yards per game in the country this year.

It's gonna be a bloodbath.

Prediction: Alabama 33, Texas 6

Enjoy the games, everybody. I mean, as much as you can enjoy an essentially meaningless collection of postseason games.

Disney World '09

I went to Disney World again, December 2nd through the 6th. It was a fun trip, though I'm starting to realize that I need some freshness in future trips, if they're going to happen. My mom and my youngest brother are fun, but I think I'd like to have the opportunity to mix things up from time to time, and that's not easy with a three-person group.

I had a sore foot for the entire trip (and still do today), so all the walking around wasn't great. I'm sure that also contributed to the trip being not as much fun as last year. No pictures this time, sorry, you'll just have to trust me when I say I was there. :)

We stayed at the Contemporary Resort, which is a monorail ride away from the Magic Kingdom and Epcot Center. The value of this convenience is substantial. Since the Magic Kingdom is my favorite park, it gave us the opportunity to mix in a Magic Kingdom trip whenever we wanted (just twice, but still). The resort also has lots of the standard Disney amenities: swimming pool with a slide, convenience mart, several restaurants, and an arcade.

The coolest thing about our room, though, was the view. Our room faced the Magic Kingdom, which had two big positives. First, we could see Cinderella's castle lit up at night, glowing in the distance. Second, we were able to appreciate the Magic Kingdom's nightly fireworks show from our pair of balconies. I'm a man who likes his fireworks.

Longtime readers may remember that our group really enjoyed the Yak and Yeti restaurant in Animal Kingdom on last year's trip. We went back again this year, and it was good, but not as good as last year. I think part of the reason is that this year, we elected to go with Disney's dining plan, which lets you choose a drink, an entree, and a dessert. It's nice, and it's a good deal, but appetizers can be just as good as main courses. It was a shame to feel like we ought not order appetizers, so that we didn't waste our dining plan. So, that part I regret.

• Read a full-length book in less than 24 hours.

I read all of one book and part of another during the trip. I bought Slam by Nick Hornby in Dulles Airport on Wednesday morning, and finished it Wednesday night in Orlando. It was very good, though the first half was better than the second half. I bought Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk in the Orlando airport, and finished it a few days ago. It was also good, though if you know anything about Palahniuk, you know it had its share of depravity. Not necessarily in a bad way, and it definitely adds to the story, but it does prevent me from recommending the book to people who I don't perceive as having at least some level of depravity (so yes, Greg, you can borrow it). I decided somewhere in the middle of Slam that I wanted to read more books, and Chip let me borrow High Fidelity, so I started reading that (though at a normal, non-vacation pace).

Now, as I promised to Plundo, the review of Disney attractions that I saw for the first time this trip.

• Went on a new ride (or rides) at a theme park.

Snow White's Scary Adventures (2/5)
There are a lot of rides at Disney World that are pretty similar. Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, Little Nemo, etc. They're all slowish rides along a track that follow a particular Disney story, and Snow White is no different. Part of the problem for me is that I never found Snow White particularly entertaining. The ride was fine, but I'd put it behind most similar rides.

Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor (4/5)
Okay, truth be told, it's more of a three star attraction, but it was a four star experience. It's essentially a brief comedy show where they use real-time cartoons on a movie screen stage. What makes it pretty funny is that the monster comedians actually interact with people in the audience, reacting to what they say, and calling people by their names. They have a separate screen at the front that shows who they're talking to, and how they react. What made our experience particularly good is that my mom was one of the audience members featured in the show. Embarrassment is always funny. :)

Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress (1/5)
I considered giving this ride zero stars out of five, but that goes against the grading standard. Plus, it's got some marginal value. You get to sit, which is nice, and I hear that it's especially good when the weather is hot, because it's indoor and air conditioned. The attraction sits you in a rotating theater that goes through a few different years, and the scenes play out with an animatronic guy telling you about all of the new technology of that particular era. If possible, it's more boring than it sounds. Also, the guy has a dog who lives to be like 80, which would be cool, but come on.

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular (4/5)
There are two parts to this attraction. There are a few action scenes with lots of stunts, including an airplane, machine guns, explosions, spears, and of course, a giant rolling boulder. The rest of the show is in between, where they involve the audience, make some jokes, and talk about what it's like to make a movie, and do stunts. The in between time is okay, and the stunts are pretty bad ass. Boom. Four stars.

Soarin' (5/5)
My sister had reported that Epcot's Soarin' was kind of a disappointment when she had gone on it, and that the line was astronomically long. The line was very long, but I thought the ride was fantastic. You sit in a row of chairs that gets lifted, putting you in front of a giant screen. The screen then goes through several hang-gliding scenes, with ups and downs, mixing in smells to go along (orange orchards and pine trees were what I remember). I think you have to let yourself just watch the screen, rather than look around at the other riders, but as long as you do that, it's an awesome ride.

2009 Redskins Report Card: Week 14 vs. Oakland Raiders

Redskins 34, Raiders 13

Well, crap. Now none of us knows what to think. While Jim Zorn might not be pleased with having relinquished his play-calling responsibilities, I think he's probably the only one. Back-to-back 30+ point outbursts and suddenly the Redskins are a team people don't want to play. I'm interested to see how the rest of this season goes.

However, it was the Raiders, so let's temper our excitement just a little.

Offense: B
Defense: B+
Special Teams: B-
Overall: B

First things first, Graham Gano was a solid replacement for the ousted Shaun Suisham. I'm still not 100% sold on the idea that Suisham had to go, but Gano at least looks like he won't be a liability.

The point total makes the offense look better than it actually was, but they did have a nice day. Perhaps the most encouraging part of the offense's day is that, despite gaining only 295 total yards, they were able to post a season-best 34 points. In the second half, when their defense (or rather, Jamarcus Russell) was consistently giving them good field position, the Redskins were able to capitalize, posting 17 points in the fourth quarter to put the game away.

After watching Quinton Ganther, Rock Cartwright, and Ladell Betts in the past few weeks, I'm convinced that the Redskins will do their best to find a way to divest themselves from Clinton Portis. I know Portis has been a solid performer for years for the Redskins, but when you're running a team in a salary capped league, the per-dollar performance of players becomes the most important factor, and Portis just isn't good enough to warrant his massive contract.

Brian Orakpo looks legit, his performance plus the noticeable turnaround by the hodge-podge offensive line has me thinking less and less that Washington should've drafted Michael Oher instead of Orakpo, despite the cinematic quality of Oher's life.

Around the League

• While it's still awesome, I'm now a little scared. What will Pittsburgh fans do if the Steelers miss the playoffs? Loot? Murder? Get jobs???
• I think the failures of the Cowboys late in the season are overblown, but it's amazing how the Chargers just refuse to lose after Thanksgiving.
• The Eagles' win over the Giants was just an awesome game to watch. And it was the occasional game that had no fantasy significance for me, which meant I could just watch it...
• ...and not lament the fact that Aaron Rodgers let Ryan Grant do the heavy lifting on Sunday in the Packers' win against the Bears.
• The Titans and Ravens dropped Macho Man elbows from the top rope against the Rams and Lions, respectively, showing that the difference between an average team and a bad team in this year's NFL is considerable.
• The Falcons nearly beat the Saints without Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. And people still think New Orleans is better than the Vikings?
• Speaking of, the Vikings simply manhandled the still impressive Bengals on Sunday, holding Carson Palmer to 94 yards passing. Maybe you're skeptical of Favre being able to continue his torrid pace, but the pudding is...just look at the pudding.
• Inexplicably, Kurt Warner's three turnovers were one too few for me to win my fantasy game this weekend. You couldn't have dropped the ball on the turf one more time, guy?
  

2009 Redskins Report Card: Week 13 vs. New Orleans Saints

Saints 33, Redskins 30 (OT)

Maybe it's just my TV, but Sean Payton's face looks jaundiced. Seriously, that thing is a gross yellow color.

Offense: A-
Defense: B-
Special Teams: C-
Overall: B-

I just got back from Disney World, but Sunday's game was as wild a ride as Big Thunder Mountain, with ups and downs, twists and turns, and low-hanging metal pipes that you're pretty sure are going to hit you in the head, but that's just an optical illusion, and also they're probably made from Styrofoam.

What was I talking about? Oh right. So yeah, the Redskins made a game of it against the Saints. Washington had its highest point output of the season with 30 points, but they were playing a New Orleans team that has scored under 30 points only three times this season. Going into the Saints' last drive with 1:52 left, down 7 points, was there any question that Brees would be able to pick apart this defense and make it downfield for the tying touchdown? I can say with some confidence that most Redskins fans were already aware of our fate.

The offense looked totally in sync for perhaps the first time all season. Rock Cartwright and Quinton Ganther seem as good a duo as Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts, meaning one or both of the latter two might not be back next season. Jason Campbell did well, but I think not as well as people in Washington (I'm looking at you, LaVar Arrington) are saying. While he did a good job of spreading the ball around and keeping the offense moving, he threw a bone-headed interception as they were marching down for what could have been the game-winning drive. Washington fans needed this win to believe that our team might be headed in the right direction, and Campbell once again gave it away.

The defense doesn't get glowing marks despite their ability to keep pressure on Drew Brees and stifle the Saints' rushing attack (by the way, Mike Bell had a nine-yard run late in the game that he celebrated outlandishly, and I just wanted to slap him and say, "You've done nothing all day, shut your mouth"). LaRon Landry gave up two touchdown passes when he got himself out of position, and Kareem Moore was stripped of an intercepted ball by Robert Meachem, who took it in for a touchdown.

But Shaun Suisham was the goat (and now the sacrificial lamb) for this loss, and deservedly so. A 23-yard field goal is a gimme, and you've got to hit it. High snap? Please. It's a 23-yard field goal. You count on your kicker to be able to deal with a bit of adversity, especially on short field goals, and come through. I don't think Suisham should have been cut, but he deserved to have to deal with people saying that he should be cut. I doubt the Redskins will do any better without him, though.

Around the League

• Of course, as soon as I start talking up the Vikings, they get slugged by Anquan Boldin and the Cardinals. News flash: Boldin is damn good.
  
• We all wanted the Titans to beat the Colts. It didn't happen, though, and now the Titans have a two-game deficit to climb back into the playoff picture. I'm still rooting for them; the more of Chris Johnson we see on TV, the better our lives are.
• The Dolphins may have edged the Patriots, but all the panic and people saying that New England isn't very good is just rubbish. They're still a likely playoff team, and nobody wants to have to play them.
• Welcome back to Atlanta, Michael Vick. What a dominant team you've brought with you.
• The Raiders beat the Steelers. No analysis, it's just awesome.
• The Seahawks handed the 49ers their first division loss this season, leaving only the Bengals (already swept the AFC North), Colts (5-0), Vikings (5-0), and Saints (3-0) as undefeated in their respective divisions.
• Welcome to the top of the NFC wild card standings, Green Bay. There are cookies and coffee on the table.
  

Is It OK To Scrutinize Tiger?

If you've been within 50 yards of a TV, computer or ham radio in the last week, you know the greatest golfer of the last 20 years, Tiger Woods, has gotten himself into a bit of trouble. And by a "bit of trouble" I mean that he is accused of having two affairs as well as being in a possible domestic dispute with his wife (connecting the dots, the dispute would most likely be regarding the affairs). Following the lead of other philandering high profile celebrities, athletes and politicians before him, Tiger offered a nebulous apology to his family and fans, despite not ever actually naming the transgression for which he was apologizing.

So Tiger is apologizing, and if he isn't going to tell us why, we can only assume it is regarding his rumored adultery. From this two schools have of thought have sprung. The first is "Leave Tiger and his family alone, we all make mistakes and nobody should have their personal life on display for the entire nation". The second is "OMG, this is America, tell us every dirty detail!". While the former argument is certainly more noble, the second is without a doubt what is going to happen.

So the question is "Is it OK to scrutinize Tiger?". Should we let him handle this domestic issue privately or is it ok for the public to learn any news that may become available? The answer is actually surprisingly simple: It's ok! So what makes it ok? First off, Tiger is a celebrity by choice (as are almost all athletes, actors and artists). He has chosen a high profile life in exchange for the fame and fortune of being one of the world's elite athletes. If the intense media scrutiny ever became too much or too invasive, Tiger could have simply walked away from golf. After all, nobody really gives a fuck if David Duvall (the #2 golfer in the world a mere 10 years ago) or an accountant in Pennsylvania is cheating on his wife. So just the act of being a professional athlete opens you up to more public interest (as Jayson Williams or Rae Carruth would attest), but there is another reason why it is ok for the public to have interest in Tiger.

Aside from being a professional athlete, Tiger Woods has openly accepted the role of celebrity and has used his celebrity to influence the America consumer for his own well being. Since he has come onto the PGA tour, Tiger has used his persona to invite himself into your living room to pitch Nike golf shoes, Buick automobiles, American Express, Gillette razors and many other products. Without going into an advanced class in advertising, the basic premise is "hey Tiger is a good guy and a winner, I should buy this product that he supports". Now the important part of this argument is that Tiger is a winner AND a good guy. He has used his squeaky clean personal life, his cool demeanor and his hot-ass Swedish wife to convince the American consumer that you should buy the products that he supports because if you do, you can be just a little bit like Tiger...a winner. In exchange for using all aspects of his persona to endorse a product, Tiger profited obscenely.

Being a celebrity has a cost. That cost is public interest. Tiger seems like a smart guy and surely he had to have known that as he accepted endorsements the public would become more interested in him. Woods freely chose to accept this public interest in exchange for huge endorsements. Unfortunately for Tiger, when you trade your persona for millions of dollars, you trade your entire persona: good, bad and adulterous (the argument of whether or not that is fair or right is open to debate, but there is no debating that it is the way it is). Tiger willingly made this trade and now has to live with the scrutiny.

2009 Redskins Report Card: Week 12 vs. Philadelphia Eagles

Eagles 27, Redskins 24

Well, the Redskins put up a good fight. They scored over 20 points for the second time this season, and held a lead until halfway through the fourth quarter, both rarities for this team. Was it a great performance? No sir. Two really dumb interceptions by Jason Campbell pretty much iced the 'Skins chances. But at least now we don't have to accept that the game is over whenever the other team scores 17 points.

Offense: C
Defense: C
Special Teams: C+
Overall: C

Campbell and Donovan McNabb actually had fairly similar days, statistically. The real difference in this game was in each team's ability to run the football. With Albert Haynesworth out of action again, the Eagles were able to get solid gains consistently with LeSean McCoy and Leonard Weaver, racking up 120 yards between them. Washington, meanwhile, ran for just 82 yards on 25 carries.

The game was just another piece of evidence in proving how huge (literally and figuratively) Haynesworth is when it comes to the defense. Without him, the Redskins are simply an average defense that can be exploited. But with him, and with a healthy DeAngelo Hall, they're one of the five best defenses in the league.

And that's not homer-ism (well, not just homer-ism); that's the truth. Washington ranks tenth in points allowed, and sixth in yards allowed per play. They've allowed exactly one more point than the Pittsburgh Steelers. They've allowed the fewest first downs of any team in football. They still have the best pass defense in football (though their rush defense is in the bottom ten). Make no mistake. They've seen some improvement, but the offense is still to blame for the 3-8 record. With an offense that could control the clock and extend drives, this is undoubtedly a playoff team.

Sigh. Once again, we're relegated to next year.

Around the League

• What a crummy bunch of Thanksgiving games. The Packers, Cowboys, and Broncos won by an average of nearly twenty points.
• Remember when I said that Jack Del Rio was a crummy coach? He had David Garrard drop back to pass 42 times on Sunday. In case you were wondering, the Jags averaged 5.1 yards per rush on 19 carries.
• The Browns defense looked better, but I'm concerned about their new motto: "Just allow enough points to lose." Anyone else expecting someone to pick up both Charlie Weis and Brady Quinn this offseason? (I'm looking at you, Oakland).
  
• San Diego is playing like a Super Bowl team. Not that I'd know what one looked like; I'm the guy who predicted that the Saints and Vikings wouldn't even make the playoffs...and that the Dolphins, Panthers, and 'Skins would.
• Every week Manning and the Colts look a little more vulnerable. They do also win, though.
• The Titans? The freakin' Titans? They're one game out of the wild card, and the 59-0 drubbing at the hands of the Patriots is ancient history.
• Maybe the Steelers would've won with a healthy Ben Roethlisberger, but Dennis Dixon wasn't the guy whose arm tackles Ray Rice was blasting through.
• Okay, we get it. The Saints are really good, and everyone was really stupid not to sign Drew Brees when he left the Chargers. I think Colston just caught another TD.

Speaking of the Saints, they come to town this weekend to play the Redskins. I thought about getting tickets, but I'm actually leaving for Orlando tomorrow morning to visit Mickey and the gang for a few days. I fly back in on Sunday, so there's a decent chance I lied about not missing any more Redskins games. Sorry about that.

What Is The Rule 5 (or Rule V) Draft?

It's a question that's dogged Major League Baseball for years, because it's something that seemingly only 10% of baseball fans are even aware of, and only 1% actually understand. I should know, I was part of the 90% for a long time, and part of the 99% until just recently. But the Rule 5 Draft (sometimes called the Rule V Draft) is part of the game play in MLB Front Office Manager, so as I started to get more and more into my Nationals team, I did more and more research into the various quirks and rules of baseball.

The Rule 5 draft has existed 1959, though it's operated under the current rules (with minor tweaks) since 1965. It was designed in order to prevent teams from stockpiling talent in the minor leagues.

How Does It Work?

The Rule 5 draft takes place annually at baseball's winter meetings. The draft order is the same as in the amateur (or Rule 4) draft; that is, in reverse order of record from the previous season. Older players who aren't on a team's 40-man roster are available for other teams to draft at a price of $50,000, paid to the player's current team. These players have to be kept on the major league roster for the duration of the following season, or be offered back to their original team for half of the original price (so $25,000).

Eligibility Rules

Not all minor league players are eligible for the Rule 5 draft. First, players on a team's 40-man roster are not selectable in the draft. The 40-man roster includes a team's 25 active players, as well as 15 players designated by the organization.

Additionally, younger players are not eligible for the Rule 5 draft. Players who were 19 years or older when they signed with the team are protected from the Rule 5 draft for four years, whereas players who signed before age 19 are protected for five years.

Who Benefits?

There are two main beneficiaries of the Rule 5 draft. First, the small market team. These teams can't afford to sign premium free agents to fill out their starting lineups or have $5 million utility bench players, but they can acquire solid minor leaguers at league-minimum salaries to help with depth. The other beneficiaries are the minor league players themselves. The sooner a minor league player gets to the major leagues, the sooner he becomes eligible for arbitration, and eventually for free agency. The redistribution of talent helps to expedite that process.

But Does Anyone Ever Actually Work Out?

It's a fair question. If a player is left unprotected after 4+ years in the minor leagues, is there much of a chance that he's actually going to pan out? Usually not. There are between ten and thirty players drafted regularly in the Rule 5 draft, and most of them end up being no better than role players. Of the 21 players taken in the 2008 Rule 5 draft, 13 of them have been offered back to their original teams.

But, as I'm sure you know, there are always a few exceptions, or it wouldn't be worth me writing about. Fantasy owners of today may be surprised to find out that several relevant players were Rule 5 acquisitions, such as Joakim Soria, Shane Victorino, Josh Hamilton, and Dan Uggla. For those of you who were baseball fans in the 1980s and 1990s, you may be surprised to discover that John Wetteland, Kelly Gruber, George Bell, and Bobby Bonilla were all Rule 5-ers. Additionally, superstar pitcher Johan Santana was a Rule 5 acquisition by the Twins, who yanked him from the Astros (oops).

But unquestionably, the most famous Rule 5 draftee was outfielder Roberto Clemente. He was signed by the Brooklyn Dodgers, then left unprotected in the 1954 Rule 5 draft. A mere 3,000 hits, 12 All-Star Game appearances, 12 Gold Gloves, and 1966 MVP trophy later, he was elected to the Hall of Fame. Not too bad for a Rule 5-er.

Baseball has its parity issues. Payroll discrepancies are considerable, and the differences in payroll generally correlate with performance. But between the Rule 5 draft, compensation draft picks, and the amateur draft, there are plenty of opportunities for a small-market team to be successful. I'm sure you've already heard me say this a hundred times, but read Moneyball. It'll remind you that, while money talks, it can't sing and dance, and it can't walk.